Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

First Base: (kissing)

Meh. I think we can say “kissing!” Unless we’re talking about kissing the balloon knot.

Second Base: (above the waist groping)

“womanly roundness”
“tender, soft globes” (do they spin?)
“wanton endowments”
“quivering orbs”
“pillowy mounds”

Third Base: (below the waist groping)

“damp curls”
“soft thatch” (I hate the word “thatch")
“dewy cleft”
“silken woman’s place”
“love grotto”
“pleasure center” (thanks, Beth! Or rather, thanks, Gaelen Foley!)
“love nubbin”

“hardness”
“bulge”
“ridge in his trousers” (sounds like a tailoring problem!)
“fleshy sword”
“spear of love” (which are completely different from spears of pickles, I assure you)

Home Run! (AKA Sex!)

“slide home”
“filled her”
“slid his love stallion into her willing stable”
“baptized the bishop”
“entered the love grotto”
“drove into the Chunnel of Love”
“sailed down the Love Canal”
“speared the hairy donut”

Oral Sex (M on F):

“parted her delicate petals”
“kissed her nether lips”
“munched her box”
“ate her carpet”
“dined sumptuously on her meat curtains”

Oral Sex (F on M):

“swallowed his hardness”
“encircled his engorged flesh”
“feasted on his magnificent lollipop”
“hummed the solid flute”

Anal!

“popped her balloon knot”
“rode the chocolate valley”
“slipped in the back door”
“hightailed down the Hershey highway”