Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Felicitations to Emily, who correctly guessed today’s Lonely Heart, Susannah Faulconer, from Susan Elizabeth Phillips’ Hot Shot.

Kneel, Emily, and arise a member of the Smart Bitch Peerage:

In the recent discussion of McEwan, Andrews, plagiarism, and punishment, there was a link provided by sherryfair to a New Yorker article by Malcolm Gladwell wherein he describes his reaction and subsequent research into plagiarism after text from an article he wrote was lifted for content in a Tony-winning play by Bryony Lavery.

In the article, he states,

A successful music executive has to understand the distinction between borrowing that is transformative and borrowing that is merely derivative, and that distinction, I realized, was what was missing from the discussion of Bryony Lavery’s borrowings. Yes, she had copied my work. But no one was asking why she had copied it, or what she had copied, or whether her copying served some larger purpose.

That entire idea threw me for a big, big loop, and ultimately, as I wrote in a comment to the original discussion, gave me a lot to think about. Plagiarism excused by the idea that the words stolen were used in service to a greater art? Color me befuddled. The discussion of McEwan’s plagiarism of Andrews’ work also touched on the question of what IS plagiarism, and is it ever ok in the course of writing?

The issue of plagiarism comes up every so often, and there is usually a lot of discussion about the idea when it does - from “what’s the big deal” to “how come the penalty isn’t more serious?” When the story broke about Opal Mehta, our focus at SBTB was on Alloy, the book producer, and what role they may have played in allowing a book that lifted from so many sources to be published and optioned for film. With McEwan, Candy mentioned a feeling of personal shock: “It was almost like finding out my best friend had been cheating on her husband without my knowledge all this time; there’s a distinct feeling of ‘how could you?’”

The language of plagiarism itself is so damn bizarre: ‘borrowing.’ ‘Lifting.’ ‘Unintentional copying.’ Like someone’s book slipped and fell into the scanner. Oops!

Since this discussion was taking on a good bit of heat and debate, I did some asking of nosy questions about plagiarism in the romance publishing world. Whom did I ask?

Nora Roberts, who has quite a bit to say about the subject.

It’s that time again - give us the heroine’s name, book title, and author’s name, and we’ll give YOU a million dollars a Super Fine Smart Bitch Title!™

Let’s Do it on Your Hog.

Daddy’s little girl seeks hot man with a Harley to help me ride off into a whole new life. I’ll be cut off from everything I would have had, but we’ll storm the castle of industry and create a new fortune for ourselves. Then? I’ll dump your cheating ass for the tried and true hero who was there for me all along. 

If you need some toys with, um, thrusting action, let us Smart Bitches help you out.

And here’s a toy that sounds dirty, but isn’t.

I should stay away from toy catalogs, clearly.

But wait, there’s more! Pass the Pickle sounds like something from Ellora. Does the pickle get passed before or after the dildoes on Tuesdays?

Sarah: It had to be you and a Wonderbra, apparently. One might think the woman-titty to be a refreshing change from man-titty, but that hint of double-boob from the too-tight bustier? It had to be a poor bra-fitting.

Candy: Yeah, you know, personally? Not too fond of the double-boob. Whoever the “you” is referring to in the title, it sure ain’t the woman in charge of measuring her for her bra fitting.

Sarah: Nothing says erotica like swamp-crotch. He’s going to toss that one back in the bayou lest he risk the sickness of his little alligator. Can’t say I blame him, either.

Candy: This cover totally makes me think of this hilarious bit from Last Chance to See, during which Douglas Adams and Co. are attempting to sneak up on a white rhino (and by the way, the book is, if you’ve never read it, one of the Best Books Ever):

“Sure it’s a rhino?” I asked, politely.

“Yup,” said Charles. “Dead sure. We’ll stay parked here. They have very keen hearing and the noise of the Landrover would send it away if we drove any closer. So we walk.”

We gathered our cameras together and walked.

“Quietly,” said Charles.

We walked more quietly.

It was difficult to be that quiet struggling through a wide, marsh-filled gully, with our boots and even our knees farting and belching in the mud. Mark entertained us by whispering interesting facts to us.

“Did you know,” he said, “that bilharzia is the second most common disease in the world after tooth decay?”

“No, really?” I said.

“‘It’s very interesting,” said Mark. “It’s a disease you get from wading through infected water. Tiny snails breed in the water and they act as hosts to tiny parasitic worms that latch on to your skin. When the water evaporates they burrow in and attack your bladder and intestines. You’ll know if you’ve got it, because it’s like really bad flu with diarrhoea, and you also piss blood.”

“I think we’re meant to be keeping quiet,” I said.

I envision this exchange between the characters:

Man: Rub your breasts against my crotch!
(Woman does so.)
Man: Quietly!
(Woman rubs breasts against his crotch more quietly.)
(Both start peeing blood the next day.)

Sarah: Wow, whenever I think romance, I totally think limp pale-blue feet with hammertoes and ugly polish. How did the art department read my mind?

Candy: Drowned corpses strewn about with roses: perfect for the romantic necrophiliac in your life! 

Candy and I, we should open the Smart Bitch Book Finder service - our readership is so smart, we can describe one third of a novel and get people giving us the ISBN within an hour. It’s pretty awesome. So of course, a Smart Husband has turned to the Bitchery for help:

OK, at the risk of being published, I have a couple of questions that I haven’t been able to answer on my own. As gifts, I like to give my wife romance novels (she can’t stand buying them herself).

She likes ones with a bit more “occurrences” and maybe a slight more description.

She can not stand time travel or some weird metaphysical or strange almost science fiction plot.

She likes historical, in particular kings, princes, castles and stuff.

She will not deal with vampires.

She requires a believable story.

Again, she grades a book by the story, the amount of encounters (once or twice is never enough), and the description of those encounters in an somewhat explicit yet tasteful, romantic nature.

Can you suggest a few authors?  Christmas is coming and I have her stocking to stuff.

My brain first offered up old school Garwood (The Bride and Conquest, for starters) but then I wondered - is there a quality historical romantica author that y’all know of for a recommendation?

I was looking around on Amazon.com at sales rankings for Michelle Styles, and found this - Historical Romance - Board book?! Like the kind I read to SB Freebird so he can chew the book and get a well-rounded multi-sense reading experience? Romance board books?!

Dude. That’s awesome. I’m sure it’s a goof but still, I’m so amused, I’ll giggle for the next hour. 

Shaina sent me a heads up to the following: Monday night football? Pah! Monday Night Nora on Lifetime TV starting Jan. 29.

I knew some of Roberts’ books had been optioned for film, but I didn’t realize the air time was so soon. And now that I’m looking at the casting list, well, DAMN. John Corbett? Claire Forlani? And a “Where’s Nora?” cameo contest? Ha!

Shaina said it best in her email: “I don’t know whether to be really really excited or really really worried. They could be awesome. But what if they’re horrible?”

I replied, “I know - do I want to watch or do I want to keep my own mental version of the story and how I saw the characters? It’s a big question - but good on her for getting the movie deal and NOT having her books become typical Lifetime TV movies, like ”Tears in the River of Wind: The Gassy Jenkins Story starring Valerie Bertinelli.”

Of course, from what I know of Nora Roberts, to put it plainly, the lady takes no crap from nobody, nohow, so if she’s excited and pleased with the script interpretations and the casting decisions, then I’m going to expect that it’s a long way from horrible. According to her site and the Lifetime interview, she thinks the writers, producers, directors, and cast fulfilled her view of each story, and “got” the books in terms of meaning and message.

I am so setting the DVR for all four, since my opportunity for two straight hours of television viewing are few and far between, unless it’s a Wiggles marathon with a slightly cranky Freebird, the SB Toddler. 

Yeah, we bitches not above some scandalmongering every now and again. So a little birdie told us that Laurell K. Hamilton was given the ole what-for during Archon for all the sexx0ring in her books--told off by other writers, no less. Anyone have any details? Anyone?

Link for US Buyers: The Gladiator’s Honor (Harlequin Historical Series)

Updated 3pm EST 12/4/06 to add:

Amazon.ca has one left, and there seems to be some availability at eHarlequin’s online store. Also, Books-a-Million may have some copies as well.

The trouble with Mills & Boon and their US counterpart, Harlequin, is not the content or even the secret sheihk’s baby daddy plot lines. My problem? The SIZE. Size MATTERS. Why does size matter? Because when a Mills & Boon book you’re supposed to review falls behind your TBRv pile (not to be confused with the TBR pile) there’s no chance you’re going to spot it.The slim and trim and fashionably slender series? Never saw it hiding back there.

So, with apologies to the author who was nice enough to send me this copy an embarrassingly long time ago, herewith is my micro review for The Gladiator’s Honour: Book good. Book Very Good. Go Read Book Now.

And here’s the macro review:

Kate Rothwell alerted me to this little tidbit by badgerbag regarding allegations that Ian McEwan plagiarized parts of romance author Lucilla Andrews’ memoirs in his tremendously well-received novel, Atonement.

I’ll admit up front that Atonement ranks as both one of my favorite books of all time and one the best-written books I’ve had the privilege to read, so finding out about the plagiarism came as a shock. It was almost like finding out my best friend had been cheating on her husband without my knowledge all this time; there’s a distinct feeling of how could you? to my reaction. Really, there’s no denying that the one excerpted passage in Atonement bears more than a coincidental resemblance to Andrews’ memoirs.

However, distressing though the news is, and I really think McEwan should cop to stealing instead of sputtering nonsense about the difficulty of making up realistic treatments to decades-old ailments, I think badgerbag’s reaction to the article itself strikes me as somewhat out of proportion. Yes, women authors have a tougher time of it, and yes, fiction written by and aimed at women is quite consistently denigrated and played down, but the tone of the article is quite respectful of Andrews. What I do feel, however, is that McEwan is getting off lightly because he’s a literary fiction author, and because Atonement is, to be frank, a masterpiece of writing. These two factors seems to have softened the outrage from the literary community. Shit, much as I’d hate to admit it, it’s probably softened my reaction--well, not so much the literary fiction author bit (I share Sara Donati’s opinion that lit fic is a genre in and of itself, and not so much a statement of quality) as the whole ”Atonement being one of my all-time favorite books” bit.

I’m also really curious as to whether the *ahem* borrowing extends beyond the one passage excerpted in The Daily Mail. I’ll have to see if I can get my hands on Andrews’ memoir and read it side-by-side with Atonement.