Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Here in the US, the fall tv season is about to start, and I’m idly fascinated by the themes of this fall’s new shows. The supernatural character shows have progressed - much like the paranormal grows ever more familiar in romance publishing, superpowers are everywhere on tv this fall.

There are shows that deal with death, hell and mortality-related superpowers, such as Reaper and Pushing Daisies. There’s shows that are flat out about superpowers, like Bionic Woman, and Aquaman, which go along with Heroes. And there’s a time traveler dude on Journeyman.

A few years ago, everything was crime procedurals and forensic dramas - still is, to some degree, since CSI: Original Recipe is still on, as is CSI:Sunglasses and CSI:New Yawk. Now it seems a good half of the new hour-long shows involve someone who has a superpower, and I’m so curious about that. I heard once that some colors move through popularity cycles, from clothing to car exteriors to room paint, but I can’t find anything online that supports that idea. Nonetheless, I wonder if themes move from books to tv or tv to books, and in this case, the popularity of paranormal fiction has spread even more into tv shows. Of course, the lead time for tv show development is a bit different than a book’s development, but I am still curious to see which shows thrive and which do not.

What shows are you looking forward to this fall - and if you’re not in the US, what’s new on your tv that you’re way into?

Don’t forget - Friday is the deadline for the Big Kahuna Cover Design Contest. We need covers for Triksy Loin/Trisky Lion publishing because they are so supur kewlies.

Send ‘em over! 

I have cleaned the kitchen, the dining room, the foyer, and half the living room. Then I went to the grocery store, and came out with a 5lb chicken and a 6lb brisket.

This can only mean two things: 1. I am nesting like a mad hen. 2. It’s Rosh Hashanah time!

So to the Bitchery readers who are celebrating the arrival of 5768, l’shanah tovah! May your new year be sweet and happy. May your brisket be moist! May your man-titty be extra round!

Courtesy of my friend Mel, check out this serendipitous placement of the Amazon.com “Search Inside” arrow.

All I can say to Lady Chatterley is: Honey, if you need to search for it, you might want to look into getting a new lover. I’m just sayin’.

Bitchery reader Zaza sent me a link to a hearing aid site that is using some seriously fine looking man-titty in its advertisement. Because nothing says hearing aid like man-titty, right? Seems the company sent her a postcard of the man-titty hotness, and she went to the website to check it out. That would be a slam-dunk in the junk mail department. If word gets out, there’s going to be fine man-titty everywhere. What a shame.

Are you ready for some links already? Audéo is using a rather innovative and dare I say pleasant to look at advertisement set to spread the word about its new hearing device.

This would be the gentleman who captured Zaza’s interest. Can’t say I blame her. 

Bitchery reader Jessica has a rather odd request in her search for romances to read. In fact, when she first emailed me, I said that I didn’t think what she was looking for was precisely a romance. I’m as much curious about your opinion on that as much as on whether there’s a book that might meet her criteria.

Jessica wrote:

I just get a little bored with the predictability of most romances.  Boy and girl meet, are horribly attracted to each other on first sight, but deny it/are torn apart/decide to be attracted to someone else for a while/are in some other complicated situation/etc., lots of stuff happens, boy and girl end up together.  You ALWAYS know from the very first page (or chapter, at any rate) who will ending up doinking whom.

So, maybe The Bitchery can help me out.  Any suggestions for books where the hero/heroine DOESN’T end up with the first attractive, named character of the opposite sex they see and get moist for?  And it’s not because said named character is a ginormous asshole/the villain/secretly their sibling/etc.  I’m looking for a little healthy surprise here.

It happens to people all the time.  You meet someone and you think they’re just the best thing since BEFORE sliced bread but after a period of time (a date, a few weeks, a month, whatever) you realize that maybe they’re not for you.  They’re not BAD or anything, but it’s just not as right as you had hoped.  But this other person you met at the same party/event/etc. or shortly afterwards or before, or somewhere along the line is finding a place in your heart.

And I would debate that it COULD still be a romance.  The hero or heroine is just not who you would expect. I guess it’s [more the idea of] surprise.  I want to NOT be hammered over the head from the very beginning with “these two are going to do the dirty!” I still can’t think of any novels I know of that have the type of plot I’m looking for.  But, last night my DH, reminded me of the movie, “While You Were Sleeping.” That’s almost exactly the plot I’m looking for.  Still definitely a romance, but the first “hero” she gets excited about is not the hero she ends up with.

I’ve read a few books like this, and it’s a delicate balance for a writer to sustain. On one hand, you don’t want the reader getting all invested in a hero who isn’t going to be The One, but you also don’t want to lose the respect of the reader if the heroine falls for the wrong dude or chases someone that the reader KNOWS isn’t right for him.

While I’m a very big fan of friends-to-lovers plotlines (*sigh*) that’s not quite what Jessica is looking for, but it’s also not merely a triangle “Which one will she choose” romance either. But I’ve read romances where the heroine has, for example, a lifelong crush on Dude A, but then realizes that Dude B is The One - and sometimes the reader knows it all along, while other times the reader figures it out along with the heroine.

What’s your take? Got any books to recommend?

After the discussion about labels on romance novels, and prior discussions about series books in the romance shelves, one author and I had a rather lively discussion via email about series books and whether the same rules and expectations should apply to them as to romance novels. Since this author doesn’t want to be seen as trying to sell her own books, she asked that I post her rant anonymously so that it would be evaluated on content and not as a potential marketing attempt. Normally we’re all about owning your comments, but I can see her point - she wants her argument to stand on its own without being judged as an attempt to build buzz around her series. So - Anonymous Author defends Series in Romance, take 1.

As a corollary, I want to collect the recommendations from the conversation below about STDs in romance, and compile a list of romances that feature heroes or heroines with major health issues.

In the comments, Darlene Marshall recommended, “a Harlequin Super Romance called A Man Like Mac by Fay Robinson.  The hero is a paraplegic and in a wheelchair.  The novel deals sensitively with sexuality, incontinence, self esteem and other issues related to the hero being disabled.”

Jennie recommended, “Catherine Anderson writes books with heroines with major health issues & has had heroines with blindness, in wheelchairs, having panic attacks, etc.  It’s a little icky sweet at times, but the romance is usually handled well.”

Got any more?

Edited to add: There is, of course, the mega list at AAR. 

Used to be that few if any historical romances were set in France, particularly prior to the Revolution. I remember an article from the RWR a few years back titled along the lines of, “What’s Wrong with France?” If I recall correctly (and I likely don’t) the article talked about taking risks that could pay off - no one wrote about sports figures as heroes until Susan Elizabeth Phillips came along, so who knows if you’ll tap into the next big thing?

French settings for historicals, however, were different - because if you know your history, you know what happens to many of the royals of France. Same with other historical revolutions and tragic events. In the end of a romance set in Rome, the hero and heroine go off to live in Pompeii and my first thought was, “Y’all need to move!” It’s like throwing cold water on my nice warm fuzzy happy ending.

France and sports aside, I had an email from a reader who had an interesting question about a similar risk in characterization and setting. Emily asks:

I’m formulating an idea for romance novel at the moment, but I’m wondering if I’ve shot myself in the foot right out of the starting gate in deciding to make my heroine HIV+, and aware of the fact. Given that I’ve yet to see a romance novel that so much as winks at herpes or even something curable like gonorrhea, I was wondering if it was pointless to even begin to tackle the idea. I’ve heard of True Love overcoming all odds, and I’d like to see that theory tested. COULD love overcome something so massive as Lingering, Painful Death in a Thong and Holding Champagne? Granted I’d already begun working on how I would or could justify ANY sexual contact, and there’s definitely no simple answer in sight.
What are your thoughts?

Enjoy your weekend. Hope it includes fun and frisky activities!

This week’s video? It’s so not worksafe so it’s below the fold, baby, yeah.

Madeleine L’Engle has passed away at the age of 88. (Hat tip: Lucinda for the article).

One of my favorite quotes on being a grown-up comes from L’Engle, and I’ve seen it reproduced so many times, including in this week’s pages of my agenda:

When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability… To be alive is to be vulnerable.

Thanks for the wonderful stories, ma’am. You’ll be missed.

Update: The NY Times obituary is also online.

Congrats and felicitations to Holly! She has correctly guessed this week’s Lonely Heart - Jude Frances Murray from Nora Roberts’ Jewels of the Sun.

Kneel, Holly, and arise a member of the peerage with your new, spiffy Smart Bitch Title™. Be sure to use it when trying to score a table at the hot new seafood restaurant.

You ready? It’s that time again - Friday contests, and Friday videos, too. Gotta love the start of the weekend. You know the drill - first to come up with the title of the book, the name of the author and the name of the heroine wins a Smart Bitch Title™.

Bam! Right in the Kisser!

Bookish, curious and restrained psychologist seeks wind-swept romantic man to sweep me off my feet and reveal my adventurous, romantic soul. I’m in a Eire cottage by the sea, looking to find out who I am in the next six months. You can charm me with stories and never-ending glasses of wine, but really it’s your time and attention that will win my heart, along with those magic words. Without the words? I’ll break your damn nose.

One of the sites I check daily, right after my Gmail and Woot, is MacZot.com, which has daily deals on Mac apps. Todays deal: 47% off Librarian Pro, which tracks your book inventory. This software is available for Mac and PC, according to the listing today.

Neat, and I love the shushing icon, but do I need this? Do I need any book inventory software?

Honestly, with the number of books coming in and out of my house, it might be a good idea, but I still like the tactile experience of browsing my own shelf of to-be-reads and picking out my next read. Do I need “serenity” to return to my bookshelf?

It might not be a bad thing, honestly, but as soon as I can bend over (and see my own feet, omg) I will be attacking the organization of my office in my own style, and I’m not sure a piece of software, even for someone as digitally eager as I am, would be of any use. Neither am I interested in Shelfari, beyond asking them to stop emailing me already.

What about you? Do you digitally index your personal library? How do you organize your books? Maybe this is a bandwagon I need to waddle after before it gets too far away.

We’ve had a few varying discussions about who reads - from who reads romance to who reads more fiction to who reads more in general and is reading going the way of the Dodo bird?

Add to the list of “The world is coming to an end and reading decline is the shifty canary!” articles: NPR’s report on why women read more than men. The article starts off talking about gender, moves into neurons, then ends with the now-habitual “reading habits are declining and we’re all going to die!” angsty handwringing.

The idea that women read more fiction: that’s fascinating. I’m not sure if it’s as easy as the article makes it seem to chalk the difference up to empathy and psychosexual differences, but it’s definitely true in the scientific sample of my household that I read more fiction than Hubby. Of course, I read more than Hubby. I have a commute on public transportation; he drives and listens to “yelly sports men” aka ESPN radio. I read romance all the damn time; he reads a mixture of biography, history, and some adventure fiction. Is my colloquial experience then proof of a gender divide? Meh. Who knows. I don’t now if it’s possible to ever accurately survey a population’s reading habits, because what you read - sorry, what you admit to reading - is such a marker of intelligence and class that an honest survey is practically impossible to create.

However, I am so weary of the “young people don’t read and we’re all going to DIE!” angsty handwringing. I don’t think reading is dying out, no matter what this, that or the other survey may say. Surely I can easily be labeled as Polly Anna optimistic about this issue, but I just don’t buy it. I think, if anything, the continued hybridization of genres will create renovated definitions of reading. Just look at the hybrids now: romance, videogames, and manga are merging into an entire line of fiction, and movies, books, and television shows are being made from and into graphic novels. I think the blurring lines between visual and written, digital and printed word will probably continue to blur, and existing definitions will have to be amended to make room for not only what people read but how they read.

Either way, I’m going to sit with a book. It’s readin’ time.