Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Check out the goofy names here.

Seems a noble historian named Rene Jackaman researched funky names in the local records office in Cornwall after coming across a real life "Horatio Hornblower."

"Oh, ho!," thought SB Sarah. A contest beckons!

So SB Candy, in her wily wisdom, created a title generator, which you see below. And we came up with a Smart Bitch Contest!

Le Rules!

1. You shall select a name from the Yahoo!News article above

2. You shall generate a title from the script below

3. You shall write the Luuuuuurve™ scene from the book of that title, featuring that character by name

4. You shall email the Luuuuuurve™ scene to Sarah or Candy

Entries due: Monday Sept. 19

We shall post an entry with the contestant's submissions, and allow the SBTB Bitchery (that'd be you, noble readers) to vote on the winner. Winners will be announced Friday, Sept. 23.

Le Prize!

Since we've been fortunate to receive a lovely number of advertisers (thank you advertisers!), we are able to offer a fabulous pair of prizes!

The winner shall receive a Smart Bitch Title™ of their very own, along with a $10 gift certificate to Amazon.com.

So, start your engines, and please email your entries to us - don't post them in the comments. We wouldn't want to miss one accidentally!

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In case that article goes offline, here are the names found in the Cornwall County Record Office census records:

Horatio Hornblower
Azubia Hornblower
Constantia Hornblower
Jecoliah Hornblower
Jedidah Hornblower
Jerusha Hornblower
Erastus Hornblower
Abraham Thunderwolff
Freke Dorothy Fluck Lane
Boadicea Basher
Philadelphia Bunnyface
Faithful Cock
Susan Booze
Elizabeth Disco
Edward Evil
Fozzitt Bonds
Truth Bullock
Charity Chilly
Gentle Fudge
Obedience Ginger
Offspring Gurney
Levi Jeans
Nicholas Bone and Priscilla Skin
Charles Swine and Jane Ham
John Mutton and Ann Veale
Richard Dinner and Mary Cook

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Your next bestseller should be titled:

the