It seems that Candy, who suffers from Internetus Interruptus for long periods of her day, did not know of the miraculous miracle that is David Hasselhoff’s Autobiography.
Email from Sarah to Candy:
Sarah: So which one of us will read and review David Hasselhoff’s new autobiography?
Candy: WHAAAAAT?
You’re shittin’ me. Please tell me you’re shittin’ me.
Sarah: You know it’s called, Don’t Hassel the Hoff right?
So, yeah. Don’t hassel the Hoff. Read his book!
Candy: You’re lying. Liar. LIARRRRRRRRRR.
It can’t be true. I refuse to believe, because I’m a rationalist and a skeptic, and if his book is published, it pretty much proves Satan is in charge.
Sarah: Get thee behind me, Satan. It was published May 17. Here, have an official book description.
The Los Angeles Times called him a “counterculture icon,” and TV Guide dubbed him one of “TV’s Ten Most Powerful Stars,” but true aficionados simply call him “The Hoff.”
Don’t Hassel the Hoff follows David Hasselhoff’s phenomenal career, from his earliest childhood role in Peter Pan to his latest adventure, starring in Mel Brooks’s Tony award-winning musical, The Producers. There is no better time to celebrate Hasselhoff’s life and a career that continues to grow and thrive. As the star of the extremely popular classic television shows, “Baywatch” and “Knight Rider,” Hasselhoff is an international mega-star, with platinum album sales and starring roles on Broadway and London’s West End.
As this fascinating memoir reveals, there’s more to this handsome superstar than great hair, and legs that look good while running down a beach. “The Hoff” is also a smart, caring man with a huge heart.
“This book is my opportunity to print something from my heart, to tell the truth about what happened to me on the long and winding road from Baltimore to Baywatch to Broadway — and beyond. And the truth is not to be found in tabloid stories but in my actions: I am a good father and tried to be a good husband. I love people and the emotional rollercoaster that goes with human relationships. I love all the bewildering, crazy and wonderful things that life has to offer. This book is about my successes and my failures, my strengths and my weaknesses. And, above all, it is about the hope contained in the Knight Rider slogan: “One man can make a difference.”—David Hasselhoff
Full of behind-the-scenes looks at Hasselhoff’s television series, celebrations of his proudest moments, and the truths about his struggles with relationships and alcohol, Don’t Hassel the Hoff is both highly entertaining and deeply personal, making this an engrossing page-turner from start to finish.
Long live “The Hoff.”
Candy: AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Oh my word. Oh my…Oh my OWWWW.
It sounds like The Onion wrote this. It really, really does.
Sarah: No, it’s fur realz.
Satire that good has to be real.
I read about it on the MSN page and thought of that horrific naked puppy pic. Tell me that’s not the cover.
“phenomenal career”?????
omg. kill me now.
spamword: hospital62
*Whew* He has clothes on. Thank God.
I saw this in Borders and immediately thought of Candy. Isn’t that awful?
I now consider Candy’s Hoff to be officially Hassled.
Please, please, please tell me KIT the car wrote the forward?
*diez of the laughing*
I think that’s hassled all our Hoffs. And I didn’t even know I *had* a Hoff until now.
I can’t WAIT to read the review. So what was the verdict, Bitches? Sarah or Candy? Candy or Sarah? Or—wait, I know! A tag-team review in the style of MST3K.
… in the not-too-distant future, next Sunday AD…
Wait, wait, it’s not Don’t Hassle the Hoff but Don’t Hassel the Hoff? I get it, but, ouch. That bugs. Like using a “k” in “c” words such as Konvenience. There’s a store near me that does that. I have to fight a daily battle not to egg its exterior for its crimes against spelling.
Also, methinks that cover has had the benefit of some Photoshop.
Well, I clicked on the link and of course my eyes had to rest on the buy this book + this random related item display (does anyone actually do that? it’s not like its any cheaper or anything) and thanks very much, I have ‘jump in my car’ stuck in my head again.
::snorts coffee through nose::
Though to be fair…He doesn’t seem take himself too seriously. I snickered through his performance in the SpongeBob movie, and he seems almost likeable on that America’s Got Talent show.
Now that I’ve played devil’s advocate: countercultural icon??!?!?!!? He’s no Timothy Leary…
Well, if that’s the Virgin Bride’s idea of sex, she’s going to be the Virgin Wife, while the Hoff goes to pick up sluttier and more experienced girls in his talking car.
(Don’t hate me, but I loved the Hoff in that poignant film, “Dodgeball.” Richard Schickel called his performance “a brilliant and bitterly ironic analogy of our country’s cultural folie a deux with post World War II Germany. Take me to the Hoffbrau!”)
MIDNIGHT BRUNCH—come for a drink, stay for a bite!
Dang, like the Hoffster, I’ve gone in the wrong direction here and added my comment on the wrong link. Sorry.
I, too, am waiting anxiously to hear which bitch will review….
Richard Schickel reviews David Hasselhoff’s new autobiography!
Satan’s cruel and unusual joke on all of us. I’ll make popcorn!
Counterculture icon?
If culture were chocolate chip ice cream, he’d be the vanilla part.
platinum album sales
Have I been under rock? He sings? And a million people bought his album? He sold more than Paris Hilton and K-Fed combined?!?
Counterculture as in 7/11 and Hasselhoff is the flavor of that plastic molten orange stuff they put on the nachos.
A million people I hope to never meet in a dark alley. That boggles my mind.
I never called him Hoff… but I did call Timothy Leary; Tim.
If he is a cultural icon then the handbasket is here and we have all gone to hell in it… which leads us right back to Satan being in charge of publishing.. sigh.
He has a sense of humor about it all, though. I second his stunning performance in the SpongeBob Movie.
(He’s HUGE in Germany. They adore his singing there.)
My favorite quote:…my long and winding road from Baltimore to Baywatch…
Am I the only one who felt the need to sing the Beatles’ song here?
Oh, and “I am a good father” I read this and saw the video of a drunk Hoff slobbering all over the floor trying to eat a hamburger, which almost turned me off hamburgers totally. Yes, he is a good father…teaching his daughters a strong lesson about the evils of alcohol by letting them film him drunk and slobbering. Great lesson Dad!
ohhhh man. yes this book exists. even better, they actually CHANGED the title from “Making Waves” (I believe) to “Don’t Hassel the Hoff.” I have the original catalog copy on my bulletin board at work (I work in an bookstore. My coworkers thought it was funny to put it there without mentioning it to see if I would notice.)
I see the Hoff every day.
I know people in Germany, and the Hoff is sort of a camp icon – don’t think Paris Hilton or K-Fug, think Englebert Humperdinck.
He has a music career!?
The mind, she boogles…
At least Englebert Humperdinck can carry a tune. I’ve seen him in Vegas (I was with my parents, what can I say), and I’ve watched the Hoff’s Jekyll and Hyde DVD, and I know what I’d rather sit through again if I didn’t have any other choices.
Had to come out of lurking mode to add my two cents’ worth- yay, my first post!
Being an ex-pat German, I often find myself defending my fellow countrywomen and men against the idea that the Hoff is huge in Germany. Right, everyone: So for the fall of the Berlin Wall, yes, I admit it, we had him singing ‘I’ve been looking for Freedom’ whilst wearing a black leather jacket with glitter on it, but…
No, there’s no ‘but’. I suppose it was a high point in his career and a musical low point as far as important historical events go.
(verification word *these59* as in: what were these people thinking?)
So I tell my hubby last night that David Hasselhoff has an autobiography and I swear he nearly guesses the title without knowing about it before hand. He said “Don’t Hasslehoff the Hoff”. I told him he was a nut but not nearly as bad as the cover art for the book.
So who is going to take one for the team and review it?
Cecille wrote:
So for the fall of the Berlin Wall, yes, I admit it, we had him singing ‘I’ve been looking for Freedom’ whilst wearing a black leather jacket with glitter on it, but…
No, really? Was that what the whole leather-makes-me-look-constipated freedom-thing was all about?
I always sort of zoned out every time I got exposed to the song/video…
It was an either zen or zany thing.
The glittery leather-jacket, you know…
One review on Amazon. Not even Harriet liked him.
Cultural icon = our nation’s stupidest man.
So let’s put him out there. Say it loud: “We’re dumb and we’re proud!”
Typical, mind-boggling American PR. (Then again, we put Bush out there.)
My dad worked with him at the height of the Knight Rider days. He did exactly two episodes of the show before he quit. I don’t remember why, exactly, but I do remember him being completely fed up with the people on the set.
Anyway…
I used to collect signed headshots of the actors my dad worked with. So my dad went to Deuseldork (as my mom dubbed him) and asked for one for my collection. When my dad got home, he handed me a picture signed “To a wonderful gall, Lynda.”
Ummmm…thanks. Me and my Gall appreciate it.
I bought it. I won’t lie.