Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

I was flipping through my new used copy of Rebecca Brandewyne’s Desire in Disguise and on page 15 I came across the following passage:

Almost simultaneously Noir felt himself burst like a ripe melon within her, spilling his seed.

Excuse me? A RIPE MELON? Well, it’s sticky. And there are seeds. So maybe it’s not that far off in some ways, but still, burst like a ripe melon? That’s kind of gross, like his turgid member split open and ew ew ew.

That might be among the most bizarre descriptions of orgasm I’ve ever read. Now, we’ve talked about bad sex scenes before, and E. D’Trix was even kind enough to tell us all about the love scenes that invoke salmon swimming upstream.

So let’s talk orgasm specifically. What terms and descriptions did you like, and which were just absolutely howling awful?

And, as an aside, how come all the romance heroes and heroines have to orgasm simultaneously? I mean, come ON now, people.

But you’ll have to excuse me - I have to go. I’m craving a slice of cantelope. 

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