Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

It's that time of year: we're t-minus one month away from Valentine's Day, and it's time once again for media outlets to start pestering the romance writers because certainly romance writers, they are More Romantic and Sexy than the rest of us mere mortals. Pass the feather boa, because I need one to finish this entry.

A brilliant author forwarded me the following request from the Washington Post, and it is so over the top, well, judge for yourself:

Dear Romance Writers,

For a Valentine's Day story for the Washington Post Home Section, I'm hoping to feature the bedrooms of a couple of local romance writers (who better to create a romantic ambience [sic] than you creative ladies? And if there is a man among you with a romantic bedroom, that would be totally cool).

I'd appreciate it if you could send my query to your Washington area members to explain what I'm seeking:

*A couple of digital pictures of your romantic boudoir, preferably in daylight (even if it was designed to look fab in candlelight).

* You should be in at least one of the photos, since if you're chosen, you will probably be in the picture. (Feel free to wrap yourself in a feather boa or come-hither pegnoir).

*Your bedroom certainly does not have to be "done" by a professional designer or decorator, but it should look good (if you want to declutter a bit before photographing the space, by all means, have at it).

*The rooms do not have to be frilly/girly/pink, Victorian or any other stereoptyical romance-writer look. They can be Zen, minimialist, historic, Art Deco, Scottish tartan, country, shabby chic, cowgirl funky, whatever. The room just has to telegraph Romance and Love.

*Those of you who want to share your sanctum sanctorum should include a couple of paragraphs about what is romantic about it (extra points given for a heart shaped bed), and perhaps where some of your favorite things came from (great granny, your first great love, Wal-Mart, Sotheby's),

* I'll need your real name and your nom de plume, as well as a daytime phone number so I can get in touch with you. Practically speaking, the rooms we choose will probably have to be no further than 50 -75 miles from downtown Washington so we can get a Post photographer there to shoot it.

Ladies, this is your chance to spread a little Romance Writer Valentine cheer to your readers and to ours. I do hope you'll spread the word. I need the images and little eassays [sic] in hand by Jan. 25 so we can shoot the following week.

Thanks in advance for all your help. I remain,

Breathlessly yours, ----