Hey, kids, here’s a fun game for everyone: Love scene mad libs! First up is a scorching-hot Regency love story I’ve entitled “A Dark and Stormy Tryst.” Fill in the blanks, hit that button and have fun. Results will pop up in a new window; feel free to copy and paste your results in the comments.
This one is from none other than the Very Tall Husband himself:
It was a dark and dreary night at Appoloosa-Smith & Wesson Manor. Lord Appoloosa-Smith & Wesson’s gaze took the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She fronted in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he hooted.
‘prissy,’ she honked. Her limpid aqua eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea cucumber, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his glottus. It may have been crabs, but he doubted it. The finest strumpet in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the smelly jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby wangers.
‘Well, prissy,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She croaked in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she piddled away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… carrot I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-deviled ham!’
‘Ad nauseam,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Wow. Just… wow.
It was a dark and cloudy night at Budweiser-Heckler-Koch Manor. Lord Budweiser-Heckler-Koch’s gaze dismantled the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She vomited in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he howled.
‘Snookie,’ she screeched. Her limpid pale cerulean eyes clung to his face like a persistent squid, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his liver. It may have been Grave’s Disease, but he doubted it. The finest homemakers in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the fruity jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby cheeks.
‘Well, Snookie,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She squealed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she pushed away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… lychee I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-hot dog!’
‘Mea culpa,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
I’m liking it:
It was a dark and humid night at Broken Down Hack-Saturday Night Special Manor. Lord Broken Down Hack-Saturday Night Special’s gaze whacked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She sang in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he sighed.
‘Juju,’ she squeed. Her limpid cerulean mist eyes clung to his face like a persistent anemone, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his liver. It may have been hepatitis A, but he doubted it. The finest ‘hos in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the salty jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby legs.
‘Well, Juju,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She snored in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she wept away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… okra I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-bologna!’
‘veni, vidi, vici,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and foggy night at Thoroughbred-Baretta Manor. Lord Thoroughbred-Baretta’s gaze smacked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She cried in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he roared.
‘Princess,’ she squealed. Her limpid periwinkle eyes clung to his face like a persistent mollusk, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his liver. It may have been human Papilloma virus, but he doubted it. The finest bitches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the flushed jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby toes.
‘Well, Princess,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She laughed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she jumped away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… carrot I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-turkey dogs!’
‘Tempus fugit,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Here’s mine. My favorite parts are how his gaze decayed her slim body, the potency of his man-hot dog, and her exclamation of “Et tu, Brute.” I wonder how Lord Pinto-UZI feels knowing that he is not the first.
It was a dark and stormy night at pinto-UZI Manor. Lord pinto-UZI’s gaze decayed the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She falsified in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he roared.
‘Fluffy,’ she squealed. Her limpid ocean on a sunny day eyes clung to his face like a persistent squid, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his throat. It may have been scurvy, but he doubted it. The finest dumb bitches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the proud jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby toes.
‘Well, Fluffy,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She laughed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she trusted away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… cabbage I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-hot dog!’
‘et tu, brute,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and blustery night at Morgan-Glock Manor. Lord Morgan-Glock’s gaze mined the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She rubbed in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he yowled.
‘fluffy,’ she squealed. Her limpid cornflower eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea cucumber, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his spleen. It may have been typhoid, but he doubted it. The finest crows in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the puffy jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby veins.
‘Well, fluffy,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She brayed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she plowed away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… pea I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-liverwurst!’
‘sine qua non,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and tempestuous night at appaloosa-winchester Manor. Lord appaloosa-winchester’s gaze plunked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She dunked in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he shit brambles.
‘Ozzy,’ she squeak. Her limpid japanese blueberry pastel eyes clung to his face like a persistent krill, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his kidney. It may have been Parkinsons, but he doubted it. The finest cunts in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the jittery jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby shoulders.
‘Well, Ozzy,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She hee hee hee in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she masturbated away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… broccoli I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-sausage!’
‘Festina lente,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m loving these.
Connie Mason never had it so easy. 😉
Smart Bitch Madlibs: A Dark and Stormy Tryst
It was a dark and stormy night at Arabian-remington Manor. Lord Arabian-remington’s gaze rammed the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She thrusted in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he roared.
‘pussy,’ she ecked. Her limpid bleu eyes clung to his face like a persistent eel, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his ear. It may have been consumption, but he doubted it. The finest bitches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the skillful jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby hands.
‘Well, pussy,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She sighed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she chortled away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… tomato I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-spam!’
‘Veni, vidi, vici ,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Smart Bitch Madlibs: A Dark and Stormy Tryst
It was a dark and stormy night at Arabian-pistol Manor. Lord Arabian-pistol’s gaze humped the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She ran in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he screamed.
‘poochy,’ she squealed. Her limpid periwinkle eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea anenome, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his tongue. It may have been chicken pox, but he doubted it. The finest cunts in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the purple jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby fingers.
‘Well, poochy,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She Ooohed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she matched away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… carrot I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-bologna!’
‘caveat emptor,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and humid night at Arabian-Kalashnikov Manor. Lord Arabian-Kalashnikov’s gaze swaggered the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She chewed in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he greeowwwwled.
‘Lacey-Lace,’ she squeeeeeeeeeked. Her limpid cerulean-sky eyes clung to his face like a persistent anemone, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his spleen. It may have been chicken pox, but he doubted it. The finest crows in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the fashionable jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby toes.
‘Well, Lacey-Lace,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She squawkfluffled in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she picketed away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… onion I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-hot dog!’
‘ad nauseam,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Of all the diseases, two of us pick Grave’s. Icky illness.
Smart Bitch Madlibs: A Dark and Stormy Tryst
It was a dark and chilly night at Paint-glock Manor. Lord Paint-glock’s gaze ran the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She sucked in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he screeched.
‘Saber,’ she yelped. Her limpid cornflower eyes clung to his face like a persistent fish, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his kidney. It may have been Graves, but he doubted it. The finest chicks in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the crazy jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby legs.
‘Well, Saber,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She chuckled in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she cleaned away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… carrot I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-spam!’
‘Ab asino lanam ,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and tornado night at clydedale-smith & wesson Manor. Lord clydedale-smith & wesson’s gaze plucked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She sucked in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he squawked.
‘pussy-mag,’ she squealed. Her limpid shadowmist eyes clung to his face like a persistent sponge, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his pancreas. It may have been shigella, but he doubted it. The finest bitches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the fruity jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby legs.
‘Well, pussy-mag,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She hieeeed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she screwed away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… eggplant I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-spam!’
‘absum,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
*****
See the only good thing about mine is absum means “I’m outta here” according to that website. I see that man-spam is a common answer. Very good.
It was a dark and low-precipitation night at Clydesdale-Glock Manor. Lord Clydesdale-Glock’s gaze sipped the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She polished in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he screeched.
‘Stinky-poo,’ she squealed. Her limpid cerulean eyes clung to his face like a persistent jellyfish, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his Adam’s apple. It may have been cholera, but he doubted it. The finest ho’s in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the resplendent jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby kidneys.
‘Well, Stinky-poo,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She mewled in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she mowed the lawn away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… asparagus I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-vienna sausage!’
‘veni vidi vici,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
I gape in amazement at the sheer perception and brilliance I see evidenced here.
Kudos, my dear bitches.
I haven’t laughed this hard since the Spam haiku showdown between E.D’trix and me.
Which goes to show that Spam is the funniest processed meat product, I guess.
It was a dark and torrential night at Arabian-winchester Manor. Lord Arabian-winchester’s gaze danced the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She murdered in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he grunted.
‘Baby,’ she screamed. Her limpid summer love eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea urchin, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his heart. It may have been diabetes, but he doubted it. The finest bitches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the lovely jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby breasts.
‘Well, Baby,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She gurked in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she ran away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… tomato I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-turkey!’
‘Ad astra per aspera,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
This is what happens when you try to outguess the form:
It was a dark and turbulent night at appaloosa-uzi Manor. Lord appaloosa-uzi’s gaze ate the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She thrust in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he roared.
‘cunny,’ she shrieked. Her limpid cornflower eyes clung to his face like a persistent lobster, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his spleen. It may have been la grippe, but he doubted it. The finest sluts in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the screaming jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby knees.
‘Well, cunny,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She gasped in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she hissed away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… canteloupe I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-pate!’
‘Abiit, excessit, evasit, erupit,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Too much fun, I don’t deserve this!—Lene’
——————————————————
It was a dark and dark and stormy night at wild stallion-Winchester Manor. Lord wild stallion-Winchester’s gaze screwed the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She sneezed in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he squealed.
‘Petty,’ she roared. Her limpid cerulean eyes clung to his face like a persistent squid, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his liver. It may have been scrofula, but he doubted it. The finest bints in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the hard-assed jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby toes.
‘Well, Petty,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She slurped in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she burped away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… rutabaga I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-Vienna sausage!’
‘pace tua,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
This was fun! *g*
It was a dark and humid night at Morgan-Ruger Manor. Lord Morgan-Ruger’s gaze withered the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She plumped in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he snarled.
‘Spooge Cat,’ she screeched. Her limpid Caribbean seascape eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea monkey, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his appendix. It may have been Ebola, but he doubted it. The finest skanks in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the sinful jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby eyebrows.
‘Well, Spooge Cat,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She woohooed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she indulged away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… artichoke I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-head cheese!’
‘Semper paratus,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Too funny!
It was a dark and muggy night at Percheron-Baker Manor. Lord Percheron-Baker’s gaze frolicked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She burped in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he groaned.
‘muffin,’ she gurgled. Her limpid stormy sea eyes clung to his face like a persistent prawn, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his pancreas. It may have been consumption, but he doubted it. The finest wenches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the scaly jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby knees.
‘Well, muffin,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She yelped in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she chopped away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… rutabaga I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-ham!’
‘semper ubi sub ubi,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Okay – yet another mother/daughter bonding experience. The Duchesses Baldenmonte create:
It was a dark and balmy night at Quarter Horse-M-1 Grand (as in WWII) Manor. Lord Quarter Horse-M-1 Grand (as in WWII)‘s gaze jerked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She frolicked in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he arwoowhooed.
‘Chlo-chlo-ba-bo,’ she fuckkkked. Her limpid azure depths eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea cumcumber, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his spleen. It may have been Necrotizing Fasciitis (flesh eating disease), but he doubted it. The finest wenches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the appetizing jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby butt cheeks.
‘Well, Chlo-chlo-ba-bo,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She harharhared in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she slinked away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… zucchini I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-Spam!’
‘Carpe Cerevisi,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and clement night at Shire-Uberti Manor. Lord Shire-Uberti’s gaze danced the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She talked in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he yelped.
‘Vetta,’ she squeaked. Her limpid azure delight eyes clung to his face like a persistent Mollusk, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his skin. It may have been Alzheimer’s, but he doubted it. The finest hoors in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the eye—shaped jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby arms.
‘Well, Vetta,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She giggled in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she smashed away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… radish I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-spam!’
‘Veni, vidi, vici,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and humid night at Clydesdale-Remington Manor. Lord Clydesdale-Remington’s gaze licked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She diddled in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he grated.
‘Pussums,’ she squealed. Her limpid azure eyes clung to his face like a persistent anemone, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his left nostril. It may have been dysentery, but he doubted it. The finest wenches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the poxy jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby nipples.
‘Well, Pussums,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She tittered in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she yanked away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… rutabaga I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-bratwurst!’
‘Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est ,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
(Translation of Latin: “Yes, that is a very large amount of corn.” I don’t know why this appealed to me, but it did. And I wouldn’t change it for all the man-bratwurst in RomanceLandia.)
It was a dark and hail night at mustang-sig sauer Manor. Lord mustang-sig sauer’s gaze fled the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She kicked in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he chewbacca-yelled.
‘Silver,’ she hissed. Her limpid cerulean spring eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea cucumber, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his skin. It may have been porphyria, but he doubted it. The finest skanks in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the glowing jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby toes.
‘Well, Silver,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She squeaked in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she caught away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… eggplant I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-corned beef!’
‘a bene placito,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Holy Crap! In reading through the other entires before I posted I see I am not the only Palomino-Uzi, nor am I the only Man-Spam or Rutabega, LOL. Great minds truly do think alike!
Smart Bitch Madlibs: A Dark and Stormy Tryst
It was a dark and Blustery night at Palomino-Uzi Manor. Lord Palomino-Uzi’s gaze Spluttered the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She Greased in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he Ooofed.
‘Pumpkin Butt,’ she Squeeed. Her limpid Aegean Sea eyes clung to his face like a persistent Giant Squid, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his Pancreas. It may have been Herpes, but he doubted it. The finest Cum-guzzlers in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the Wine-Dark jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby Ankles.
‘Well, Pumpkin Butt,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She Wheeeeeed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she Destroyed away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… Rutabega I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-Spam!’
‘Et Tu, Brute?,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and Sunny night at Palomino-Uzi Manor. Lord Palomino-Uzi’s gaze hunted the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She flew in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he growled.
‘Tessie,’ she screeched. Her limpid Marine Paradise eyes clung to his face like a persistent jellyfish, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his heart. It may have been syphilis, but he doubted it. The finest whores in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the large jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby hands.
‘Well, Tessie,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She whimpered in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she cried away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… broccoli I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-corned beef!’
‘carpe diem,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
E.D Trix, you will never know how close I came to using ‘Aegean Sea’, LOL!!
It was a dark and muggy night at Quarter horse-Walther PPK Manor. Lord Quarter horse-Walther PPK’s gaze sucked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She nipped in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he ERRRRRoooWLLLLLLed.
‘Precious,’ she SQQQQuuuuuuEEEAALed. Her limpid blueberry pie eyes clung to his face like a persistent sponge, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his liver. It may have been herpes, but he doubted it. The finest bitches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the cold jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby fingers.
‘Well, Precious,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She whooohooooed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she cracked away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… turnip I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-boiled ham!’
‘Ascendo tuum,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
I’m in pain….
It was a dark and stormy night at thoroughbred-blunderbuss Manor. Lord thoroughbred-blunderbuss’s gaze shouted the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She attacked in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he screamed.
‘Minnie,’ she squeaked. Her limpid cornflower flush eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea urchin, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his spleen. It may have been sclorosis, but he doubted it. The finest hags in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the bright jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby feet.
‘Well, Minnie,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She gasped in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she ran away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… tomato I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-mince pie!’
‘habeas corpus,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Oh, what the heck, here’s another:
It was a dark and humid night at shetland pony-remington Manor. Lord shetland pony-remington’s gaze dandled the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She thwack in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he squealed.
‘toodles,’ she burped. Her limpid ultramarine eyes clung to his face like a persistent slug, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his pancreas. It may have been rickets, but he doubted it. The finest floozies in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the rambunctious jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby knuckles.
‘Well, toodles,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She purred in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she polkaed away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… cauliflower I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-salami!’
‘caveat emptor,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Wow, if I had known it was this easy to write a romance novel, I would have done it years ago!
Smart Bitch Madlibs: A Dark and Stormy Tryst
It was a dark and humid night at Clydesdale-Glock Manor. Lord Clydesdale-Glock’s gaze cooked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She diddled in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he yowled.
‘Miss Thang,’ she whoompfed. Her limpid cerulean eyes clung to his face like a persistent anemone, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his spleen. It may have been mumps, but he doubted it. The finest skanks in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the turgid jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby ovaries.
‘Well, Miss Thang,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She meeped in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she threw away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… parsnip I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-wiener!’
‘cave canem,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Hee hee. This is too much fun.
Here’s mine:
It was a dark and brisk night at Percheron-Colt Manor. Lord Percheron-Colt’s gaze rampaged the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She moralized in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he groused.
‘Snookie,’ she squished. Her limpid periwinkle eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea cucumber, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his kidney. It may have been leprosy, but he doubted it. The finest whores in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the wrinkled jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby wrists.
‘Well, Snookie,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She gargled in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she vacuumed away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… pumpkin I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-olive loaf!’
‘Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori ,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
So, without reading the previous entries before I posted, I managed to also use “Snookie” whose periwinkle eyes are like sea cucumbers. Where are all the good heroines? 😛
I did mine before reading the others, too.Too many sea-cucumbers out there!
It was a dark and tempestuous night at Suffolk Punch-musket Manor. Lord Suffolk Punch-musket’s gaze staggered the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She seduced in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he whimpered.
‘Missy,’ she eviscerated. Her limpid eau-de-nil eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea cucumber, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his gall bladder. It may have been leprosy, but he doubted it. The finest hens in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the glorious jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby earlobes.
‘Well, Missy,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She sniggered in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she collapsed away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… turnip I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-black pudding!’
‘carpe diem,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Way too fun. These have been hilarious! Here’s mine:
It was a dark and stiflingly humid night at Quarter-horse-Smith & Wesson Manor. Lord Quarter-horse-Smith & Wesson’s gaze choked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She danced in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he whimpered.
‘Buttercup,’ she screeched. Her limpid baby periwinkle eyes clung to his face like a persistent anemone, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his gall bladder. It may have been Tourette Syndrome, but he doubted it. The finest wenches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the annoying jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby ears.
‘Well, Buttercup,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She cursed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she flipped away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… lima bean I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-Spam!’
‘A capite ad calcem,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and sticky night at palomino-glock Manor. Lord palomino-glock’s gaze shook the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She crumpled in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he roared.
‘Fifi,’ she screamed. Her limpid azure eyes clung to his face like a persistent octopus, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his kidney. It may have been measles, but he doubted it. The finest cunts in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the amazed jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby toes.
‘Well, Fifi,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She squeeed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she shimmied away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… celery I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-salami!’
‘et tu Brutus,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
LOL too Funny!!
Smart Bitch Madlibs: A Dark and Stormy Tryst
It was a dark and cloudy night at Appaloosa-Smith and Wesson Manor. Lord Appaloosa-Smith and Wesson’s gaze crawled the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She stuck in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he roared.
‘Shebs,’ she squealed. Her limpid sequoia eyes clung to his face like a persistent jelly fish, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his kidney. It may have been psoriasis, but he doubted it. The finest slut in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the yellow jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby legs.
‘Well, Shebs,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She groaned in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she smelled away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… cucumber I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-bologna!’
‘semper Fi,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Looks like Vienna sausages are second only to Spam (wonderful spam, lovely spam, spam, spam, spam…)—and to think, I changed it from bacon-flavored Snausages at the last minute. (Which would’ve been plural, hahahaha… Lord Palamino-Glock could’ve been a man of many talents.) Alas!
~~~~~~~
It was a dark and turbulent night at Palamino-Glock Manor. Lord Palamino-Glock’s gaze languished the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She assaulted in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he squealed.
‘Flumpsy,’ she death-grunt. Her limpid azurely beryl-like, ceruleanishly cobalt, imitation-indigo, partially-royal, sorta-sapphire, teal-like, turquoiseish ultramarine eyes clung to his face like a persistent Man-o-war, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his kidney. It may have been Parvo, but he doubted it. The finest transsexual she-pimps in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the indescribably salty jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby hair folicles.
‘Well, Flumpsy,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She roared in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she oozed away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… eggplant I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-vienna sausage!’
‘Vidi, veni, vici,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
What the hell—had to get those Snausages in there! (And yes, I really did have a cat named Stupid Puss.)
~~~~~~~
Smart Bitch Madlibs: A Dark and Stormy Tryst
It was a dark and 20% chance of rain night at Miniature Pony-rusted-out POS Manor. Lord Miniature Pony-rusted-out POS’s gaze depiliated the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She preened in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he puked.
‘Stupid Puss,’ she wheeeeeeeeeeeezed. Her limpid soft light of a spring day off a clear mountain lake eyes clung to his face like a persistent algae, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his left thumbnail. It may have been halitosis, but he doubted it. The finest turd-tossing she-chimps in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the limp-wristed jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby stretch marks.
‘Well, Stupid Puss,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She ooooohBABYed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she levitated away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… bean sprout I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-bacon-flavored Snausages!’
‘Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus ,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
(btw, that means “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries”—bwahahahahah!!! I’m now in love with that Latin site!)
It was a dark and muggy night at clydesdale-glock Manor. Lord clydesdale-glock’s gaze ran the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She fed in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he screeched.
‘kitty,’ she squealed. Her limpid seafoam eyes clung to his face like a persistent jellyfish, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his skin. It may have been scrofula, but he doubted it. The finest heifers in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the annoying jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby toes.
‘Well, kitty,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She sighed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she cracked away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… tomato I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-spam!’
‘veni vedi vici,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.