Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

OK, I have to know this, because it’s been driving me CRAZY:

Isn’t the past tense of lead, led? More and more, I see people using lead as the past tense for lead. I understand that the past tense of read is read, but in English, this don’t mean shit, since I’m firmly convinced there are more exceptions than rules in this wacky-ass language. I learned in school that led was the correct form, and to see it being changed makes me apeshit. But if enough people tell me I’m full of shit, I will swallow my bile and bite my tongue the next time I see this assault to my tender sensibilities being perpetrated.

Another pondering, this one inspired by a romance novel getting a huuuuge amount of buzz that I was putting through the 15-page test at the grocery store last night:

Would a crazy-ass, tough-guy, murderizin’ thug say something that smacks so much of precious Valley Girl-ism as “I’m outie” for “I’m out of here”?

Because seriously? I put that romance down after reading that phrase. The men in my life are hardly tough-guy psychotic nutjobs who’d as soon stomp on your nose as look at you, and I’m pretty sure all of them would regard somebody saying “I’m outie” as being irreparably, unconscionably effete. I can imagine that a crazy-ass thug would rip his tongue out, chop it into little bitty pieces, set it on fire then stomp on the ashes before saying it.

Now, I’m not saying I couldn’t fall in love with an effete hero who says “I’m outie.” I’m just saying that given the set-up we’re presented and the character of the guy who says this, that one little phrase made him completely unbelievable to me.

But that’s just me. What do you guys think?

That wasn’t the only reason I put the book down. The people in question are in a big, noisy nightclub full of what sounds like flashy, beautiful people--lots of pseudo-bondage gear, lots of leather and vinyl, and a chick walks by in thigh-high boots and a bustier made of chains, if I remember correctly.

The music being played? Hardcore rap.

Huh? What in the hell is hardcore rap? See, I’m not a rap afficionado. And, well, rap is a lot of things, but I get the feeling that this club is supposed to feel menacing, and rap just doesn’t feel all that menacing to me. Some of the more raw songs have pretty intense lyrics, but I dunno, it just isn’t scary. For a club like the one this author was describing, I was picturing KMFDM, Rammstein, Ministry and other industrial-type bands. Certain types of techno, like jungle. Maybe White Zombie.

Then I realized I was basically picturing that nightclub from the first Blade movie.

Anyway, since I’m such an ignoramus about rap, when the author mentioned “hardcore rap,” I immediately thought of the Lil Jon rap song: “To the window, to the wall, till the sweat drips from my balls.” Which isn’t menacing. It just plain made me giggle, because then I pictured Chris Rock going “Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick… Put a dick in the ear, a dick in the ear… Blind the bitch! Blind the bitch!”

Moving on to another item, and this is REALLY up for debate: wack, whack or whacked? Personally, I’m for “wack” all the way, mostly because I thought it was an abbreviation of “wacky.” Whack is a borderline acceptable substitute, but whacked? Is what happens to mobsters who squeal to the cops.

Aren’t you guys so glad to have a glimpse into what runs through my teeny little ADD mind all day?

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