Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Maine publisher BookLocker.com has filed an antitrust class action lawsuit against Amazon.com.

According to their blog about the antitrust case, a complaint was filed in Bangor, Maine, on 19 May. Publisher Angela Hoy’s synopsis of their decision to file the complaint references what they consider a clandestine effort on the part of Amazon.com to unlawfully force all publishers to use their proprietary print-on-demand technology, using their own market share to advance their printing subsidiary. The complaint alleges that Amazon is demanding an “anticompetitive tying arrangement that violates section 1 of the Sherman Act” and requests a trial by jury.

Hoy’s entry also mentions that one option facing Print on Demand publishers included paying a premium to be part of Amazon’s “Advantage Program:”

However, they did not divulge in the public statement that the terms of the Advantage Program are even worse than their printing contract. The Advantage Program requires POD publishers to give Amazon 55% of the list price, pay them $29.95/year, and pay the shipping costs for books going to Amazon.

Hoy’s suit, which is currently seeking class-action status, “seeks an injunction preventing Amazon from implementing the new policy, as well as monetary damages and legal fees. There are about 4,300 potential print-on-demand class members,” according to Hoy’s attorney, Seth Klein.

Writer’s Weekly has set up a page tracking the progress of the Amazon complaint as well. According to the Writer’s Weekly page, Amazon/BookSurge had been telling other POD folks verbally (never in writing, a sign that potentially something rots somewhere in the north of Europe) that their options were BookSurge or no sale through Amazon.

This promises to be interesting, because Amazon, by virtue of being a publicly held corporation, has one goal: to make money for shareholders. Some of the discussion I’ve encountered reading about the Amazon/BookSurge controversy has almost taken a tone of horror, as if Amazon should be more altruistic, as if they were a library of some sort.

But that’s individuals, not companies being squeezed by Amazon’s decision as pertains to POD publishing. Positioning themselves in this manner to demand use of their own subsidiary to sell books through their marketplace is a curious move, and I really wonder whether it will hold up or if the injunction and potential class action suit will force them to alter their policy. There are other options, and other online booksellers, but few with the buying or selling power of Amazon, which works for them, or against them in this case.

A friendly person from an online book group emailed me with some ire, though not directed at us (always nice!). Seems she’s teed off because earlier last week, the fourteenth installment of the Stephanie Plum series, which hits stores 17 June, had a three-star ranking on BN.com, with a large portion of the 29 individuals who read an advance copy discussing how disappointed they are in the latest Plum installment.

But as of Friday, there are 11 ratings, all of them four to five stars, with more than a few from people who slapped that puppy with a fiver merely to indicate how excited they are that the book is coming out, omg, wow!!!11! According to the person who contacted me, there were 30 reviews up on Tuesday 20 May.  Wednesday 21 May there were 9.  2 more glowing reviews have been added since.  1 negative review was posted on Thursday 22 May and removed on Friday 23 May.  Scroll through the reviews posted and look at the dates.  They’re a jumbled mess, in no order whatsoever.  Never seen that before.

BN.com is one of the few places where you can review a book online prior to its release date. Amazon.com’s listing for the book indicates a five-star rating as well, but there are no reviews of the book listed on the book’s page on Amazon. (Where are those stars coming from anyway?)

However, there is a customer discussion that is less than impressed with the book, which echoes discussions on Shelfari and on Powell’s.

Can I just say I am so absurdly amused by the “How can you hate this book you are a moronnnnnn!” shreiking that comes along like a sidecar of idiocy in threads like those? It’s like the creature opposite of the squeeing fangirl: the shrieking fangirl. How dare you dislike her favorite author! Fangirl powers, activate - form SHREIKING HARPY BANSHEE!

Which is why my eyebrow is raised at the email from the bookclub miss. On Monday, there were 29 comments. Today: only 11, all of them five stars, or four.
Google Cache powers, activate!

What I find fascinating about the entire concept of disappearing negative reviews is that some, if not most, of the negative reviews, as I understand it, were written by members of a book club, an online group that exists and was founded based on a complete and utter adoration of all things Evanovich and Plum. According to one of the group’s founders, they are by invitation only, and they read all kinds of books, but a special amount of anticipation and attention is paid to the Plum series. They discuss the books before they come out, and if they get an ARC they pass it around to each member so they can all read and enjoy it. They love the series, they love the characters, and they love reading.

I can relate to that. I also got into a nice healthy “Nuh UH” debate with one of them about Morelli vs. Ranger. I can attest from my own interaction - these fans are some hard core lovers of this series.

So it’s all the more disappointing for them, not only that they didn’t like Fearless Fourteen but that their reviews which stated their opinions were removed from BN.com without explanation. It’s not like these are drive-by reviewers who flipped open the cover, maybe read the dust jacket, put it back and wrote a review, or even people who haven’t read the series who feel the need to trash the genre. Sure, that happens, but these folks, these are fans. Big fans. Huge fans. I bet the potential thread of Morelli v. Ranger goes on for hundreds and hundreds of comments.

So who better to discuss why and how they were disappointed? And whose opinions, for that matter, might carry a bit more weight than, “Omg I am SO ExCITeD?!!?11”? And thus, whose opinions are going to be deleted if, as they allege, their comments dropped the sales figures of the book for a time, only to have that elusive sales rank restored to a higher number once the negatives were removed?

Oh, what funny funny lurks in the heart of Amazon Preview and old skool Virginia Henley: have a snort at page 1 of Dream Lover.

What parodies lurk in the hearts of the Bitchery? I may have to find out. 

I’m sure some of you are going to roll your eyes and be like, “Dude, Bitch, take a Xanax and let it go already.” Me? Like a terrier! A terrier with screen caps!

Behold, the reviews that were taken down, should you be interested in reviews of Fearless Fourteen that did, but now don’t, appear on your local BN.com. While some of the reviews delve into an area that makes me feel squidgy in which the writer presumes Evanovich’s motivation in writing Fearless Fourteen, most of them make perfectly adequate points as to why the reader/reviewer didn’t like the book. There are thirteen reviews in all below the fold, all in pop-up images.

For those of you who don’t subscribe to the fine print extravaganza that is The New Yorker, have a look at the cover of next week’s issue, dated 9 June.

If I had balls, that cover would have kicked me in them.

Thanks to Dagny for the link. 

Who launched the DoS on Amazon? Did their server curl up and start crying?

What happened? I got no Amazon? Only one person is talking about it that I can find. No, wait, there’s more.

What’s up with that?

ETA: It’s back! It’s down. It’s back! It’s down. Someone send the Amazon sysadmins some Red Bull. Stat.

ETA2: Rumors point to launch and sale of PS3. Ouch.

ETA3: If New York Magazine and CNN are reporting it, then, well, something’s up.

ETA4: Spam in the WhoIs? What’s next, Spam in the email?! And can I please point out that I NEED TO ORDER DIAPERS?! Don’t make me go to the Babies r’Expensive! 

So a few folks have pointed out the hiss and snarl that’s going on at the Amazon.com page for JR Ward’s newest book,Lover Enshrined. If I had to sum up my reaction to some of these reviews, I’d have to say, “What the crapping damn hell is going on here?” I’ve never seen an Amazon review section where there’s roughly the same number of reviews for each level, from five stars down to one. The laudatory reviews proclaim it a bold new direction for the series; the one-star reviews are ready to sit on low benches and mourn the passing of their favorite series from auto-buy to never-again.

Combine that with the email asking me if I’ve read it yet, and the comments here and there that have mentioned readers who are dying to discuss it and I’m officially curious. So, then, let ‘er rip.

Caveat 1: If you don’t want spoilers, don’t read the comments.

Caveat 2: I politely ask that you refrain from one habit that really makes me feel squidgy: don’t presume to know what Ward was thinking or what motivated her. It’s not about the author; it’s about the book. If you didn’t like the book, please explain why. If you’re disappointed, ditto. But please don’t make statements about how she’s only in it for the money, she’s scamming the public, yadda yadda. I’m not trying to host a slamfest about Ward. I’m honestly curious why rabid fans are heartbroken about the book. Because damn, there’s some rabid heartbreak out there. They’re emailing me. They use a lot of vowel of anguish. Or, ahnguihsh. Or sohmthingh.

Candy adds big words: “The distinction between author and book may feel artificial sometimes, because the author is the creator of the work, and any critique of the book is necessarily a critique of the author’s work, which in turn reflects on the author’s (perceived) abilities. But focusing on the text, interpretations, reader expectations and reader reactions is ultimately a much more fruitful enterprise, because nobody knows Ward’s intentions other than Ward herself.”

Within those boundaries, you want to bring forth your opinion? Want to discuss? Bring it on. I want to hear what you have to say.

Thanks to Sandia for the heads up: Kenyon’s Seize the Night is free for the Kindle today. Click early, click often.

Now I have to try to figure out with my under-caffeinated brain how to ask Amazon to inform me which books are free, cheezy bread, free, so I can clickity click and load up the Kindle-Aid.

Expression Engine, which is the CMS that runs this here blog, has some nifty features, among them the ability to make entries expire and thus disappear from view. This is great if I’m running a contest. This is not great if I expect to remember anything, because if it’s not floating in front of my eyes, I do not remember it. So, much flogging of Sarah commences now.

And also, awarding of prizes! The winner of the Biking Vulva Contest is:

Star Opal for “The Heart Shaped Box” by Cella DeVenus. Tight passages indeed. I have to remember to use that one.

You win a $25 gift certificate to Powell’s or Amazon, your choice, and the CD audio book of Christina Dodd’s Some Enchanted Evening.

Congratulations, and my apologies for being a completely absent minded, forgetful fruitcake of a person this month.

On my way home from work one day, a woman sitting next to me most apologetically interrupted my reading to ask me about the Kindle. She’d never seen one, and she didn’t know much about the ebook readers on the market, but she was completely on board with the idea of carrying a stack of books in one lightweight device, to say nothing of the integration between book browsing and book buying using the wireless connection.

Of course, and I do grit my teeth when I write this, the Kindle is now available for $359, which makes it a tad more attractive, though I don’t think it’ll really take off in terms of ubiquity until it goes below $300, or even $250, if that ever happens. Meanwhile, I’m trying not to think of all the things I could have purchased with that $40 extra. Amazon, I am giving you a finger. Guess which one. My fellow commuter is probably buying one, because she completely agreed with me about how crap it is to run out of reading on the bus ride home. Invariably, it’s the day you get stuck in traffic for an hour.

If you’re still wondering about the Kindle, and its potential uses as a reading device, read on. Thanks to Jill F., who sent me a link, you can check out NPR’s Lynn Neary as she reports on how the Kindle holds up on the beach and at the pool. It’s relatively durable, sayeth the experts, compared to, say, a cell phone. But don’t toss it in the water, for God’s sake. I know of one Kindle-Aid drinker who puts hers in a clear Ziploc bag for trips to dangerous locations where there may be sunscreen, sand, and water. Low-tech is often best, especially since the included Kindle-case blows Chunkys.

I’m going to be road tripping next weekend - fun fun fun in West Virginia (no, seriously, I love West Virginia) - and the Kindle shall be coming with me. This may be the first vacation where I am guaranteed not to run out of things to read (which has happened before, and yea, it doth blow Chunky as well) but there’s no way in hell I’m bringing it near a pool, not without two Ziplocs, minimum.

Samhain Publishing is offering free books through Amazon for the Kindle, starting with Nate by Beth Williamson. The book is available for the ever-lovely $0.00 from today until 20 July, so if you’re interested in some heroes on horseback, have at it. 

Ooops! I am still catching up with the email in the inbox from the Conference weekend, so if you emailed me, I’m getting there. Holy cow, inbox.

Anyway, I nearly missed this one, and you know how I’m all about the free Kindle-Ade: Samhain is giving away Giving Chase by Lauren Dane until tomorrow, 10 August. Click early, click often. And let me know, if you download it, what you think. 

In honor of this year’s Bulwer Lytton prize winners for 2008, it’s time, I think, for the worst first line in a romance novel competition. I know there is a “romance” category in the real Bulwer-Lytton, but given the depths (hur) of your creativity, there needed to be more.

You know the drill: give us your original works of horrid first line art, that you yourself wrote, as awful and excellent as possible please! Comments are open for 24 hours, so leave your first line of awesomeness there. I’ll be doing something different this time around, though: in the comments, we’ll take nominations for the finals. So if you see a first line there you like, nominate it for the finals, and I’ll post the final slate of top-nominated first lines for final voting.

First prize: $25 gift certificate for the bookstore of your choice (Powell’s or Amazon), plus Romance Novel Poetry Kit for your eternal amusement while you stand at the fridge wondering if you’re hungry or just wanted to feel a cool breeze.

Second prize: Something Awesome. I’m not at the Prize Suitcase right now but there’s awesome in there, I promise.

Third Prize: see above!

Why The Henley Bodice Prize? Because Virginia Henley wrote some marvelously bizarre and downright screeching first scenes for her novels, with some great first lines, particularly my favorite, Dream Lover:

As the perfectly formed, timeless shape of the rounded head emerged, still glistening with wetness, Emerald couldn’t take her eyes from it.

Bring it on!

Tina sent me this column from MSN about the grammatical debate of “bad v. badly” and I just want to say, in utter truthfulness, I don’t just feel bad, or badly. I feel like crap. My personal feverishness aside, I also have to admit: I love that the internet makes room in publications for columns that explore the most nitliest of nitpicky grammar questions, because that stuff just fires up my brain in a good way (as opposed to the bad way I’ve got going on right now).

This link is as much a note to self as it is a link for y’all. I need a better cover for the Kindle, and M-Edge’s Leisure Jacket for the Amazon Kindle is pretty spiffy, except for the title. Leisure Jacket?! It’s a Kindle Condom! Seriously, who named that? Someone with no sense of humor? Yeah, baby, you wanna play with my Kindle? Let me slip it out of its leisure jacket....

DeeCee wrote and asked me to help her find a book, but in doing so made me ponder the presence of piercings in romance novels:

I read an erotic book awhile back (1-3 years, I think) that featured a hero with a tongue piercing. I remember absolutely nothing about it, but that and that it was contemporary. On a side note, do you know of many romance books featuring tongue piercings? I can’t find many when I do an amazon or a google search.

Aside from the erotica novel DeeCee is looking for, with the dude who has a tongue piercing, there aren’t many novels that I can recall which specifically mention piercings. In Gleason’s Gardella series, the source of all the Venator’s power is a piercing ring with a cross made of silver which women wear in their navels and the dudes wear in their nipples (ow) and I remember thinking, “Whoa, that’s interestingly risky. Nipple rings in an historical novel? Dude.”

But contemporaries? I haven’t read any contemporary novels that mentioned piercings outright, erotica or otherwise. Tattoos are becoming more common in romance novels, but piercings aside from ears? That’s somewhat rare. I wonder why that is, because in my own experience, I know plenty of people who have tiny nose studs, lip rings, belly rings, and multiple ear piercings as well. Anyone got any books they’d recommend which feature piercings?