Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

OK, you know that horrible, horrible, tawdry and really skin-crawlingly revolting song by Heart that I can’t even name because just READING the title puts that earworm bastard in your head for the next six to eight weeks? The one about the one night stand that ends up in a pregnancy because the chick wanted a baby and so she banged some guy on the side of the road? No, wait, you like that song? I will pay you cash money not to sing it to me because I cannot stand it and it stays in my head for years. Oh, crap, I can hear it right now in the back of my mind… MAKE IT STOP.

Anyway, my mental torture notwithstanding, I have a HaBO from Suzanne, and while it doesn’t involve a pregnancy, it does sound very close to that creep-ass song:

I have been amazed at how well the Bitchery can determine a book from minimal hints, and wondered if you would be so kind as to ask them about a book I read years ago (probably early eighties, and I think I got it out of a bag of books my Mom kept). I was a young mother staying at home with the kids at the time, and was very caught up in reading romances (still am!).  I don’t think it was a category book.

All I remember is an attractive woman whose car breaks down while she is driving in the country, and she is stranded and rescued by a handsome guy (of course).  He takes her back to his cabin (or country house?), and of course they have a romantic encounter; she knows everything about him, but she doesn’t tell him anything about herself...very mysterious.  Of course, she is gone in the a.m. when he wakes.  He searches, she hides, etc. etc., then they finally meet at a party or something, and it turns out she is unhappily married to an older guy.  Thus the conflict, as he feels betrayed, yada, yada, and I remember vaguely, I think the old guy gets sick or dies, and anyway, after much hurt feelings and conflict, they get together.

Wow, can’t believe anyone will be able to tell me the name of this book from such a miserable bit of info, but would really love to read it again.

Do you think they can help??

Does this ring a bell? Anyone? Wait, what’s that you’re humming? STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. 

Oh, what funny funny lurks in the heart of Amazon Preview and old skool Virginia Henley: have a snort at page 1 of Dream Lover.

What parodies lurk in the hearts of the Bitchery? I may have to find out. 

Bitchery Reader Fizz sent me an email that led to the Google Search of Champions. Heather writes about:

potentially THE most powerful endorsement of romance in the known universe.

See, there is this show called Top Gear, aired on the BBC and hosted by Jeremy Clarkson (AKA ‘Clarkson’), Richard Hammond (’Hamster’) and James May (’Captain Slow’).

TG is a car show at heart - it’s a hilariously awesome car show, but it’s basically all about the shiny bodywork and VROOM VROOM noises, with the occasional deep and meaningful question...like for example, “How many motorcycles can you jump in a bus?” or “Can you turn a 1974 Reliant Robin - otherwise known as one of the little three-wheeled cars from Mr Bean - into a functioning space shuttle?” or “Can a Bugatti Veyron outrun a fighter jet?”

They have a tame racing driver, who does the test drives: The Stig

The Stig likes to listen to romance audiobooks in the car. He’s quite famous for it. No one knows who or what he is, but Stig is loved by all...and he loves his romance.

Is it possible to get any more powerful validation as a genre? What do you think?

Seriously, the BBC just loves to stick the knife in and twist, doesn’t it? Clever witty shows about cars… and I’m unable to watch them. WOE I HAS IT.

According to the Wiki, The Stig has driven laps listening to power ballads, and learn Italian tapes, but a few other sites reference The Stig’s listening habits.

So, hello out there in BBC land: anyone watch this show? The burning question is, what novels is The Stig listening to!?

Expression Engine, which is the CMS that runs this here blog, has some nifty features, among them the ability to make entries expire and thus disappear from view. This is great if I’m running a contest. This is not great if I expect to remember anything, because if it’s not floating in front of my eyes, I do not remember it. So, much flogging of Sarah commences now.

And also, awarding of prizes! The winner of the Biking Vulva Contest is:

Star Opal for “The Heart Shaped Box” by Cella DeVenus. Tight passages indeed. I have to remember to use that one.

You win a $25 gift certificate to Powell’s or Amazon, your choice, and the CD audio book of Christina Dodd’s Some Enchanted Evening.

Congratulations, and my apologies for being a completely absent minded, forgetful fruitcake of a person this month.