Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Marta Acosta has offered up three ARCs of her new book Bride of Casa Dracula for Bitchery readers - and all we want is your best or worst wedding memory. Easy, right? Doesn’t even have to be your own wedding. Could be someone else’s.

For example, I know a certain Smart Bitch who was once a bridesmaid, and the dress was a certain shade that turned that Smart Bitch a very greenish shade of green, without the added enjoyment of nausea. To add fun to frolic, said Smart Bitch was the lone short dark haired attendant among a sea of tall, lithe, blonde, and tanned Southern bridesmaids. Oh, it was lovely. I mean, compared to some dresses out there, she got lucky, but still. Oy.

Marta says, “I actually don’t have a worst wedding memory.  City Hall ceremony, small gathering at my parents’ house, margaritas and Mexican food.  Okay, except that my husband and I woke up the next morning and we both said, ‘What the hell have we done!’”

Now, my very favorite worst wedding story, one that I reread for added laughs when I’m having a hard day, is the Titanic wedding dress story from Etiquette Hell. Enjoy - but do not feel like your comment has to be that long!

I’ve often said that people do two things at weddings: they get married or they get offended. I usually try to make sure I’m not in the latter group, since I’ve already participated in the former. So what’s your best or worst wedding memory? Share! Your comment enters you in a chance to win an ARC - you have 24 hours, and Marta will pick the winner. Ready, set, go!

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Categories: Go Ahead, Win Some Shit
Tags: , food, make the burning stop, marta acosta

During RWA, we had a contest running for an ARC of Marta Acosta’s new book, Bride of Casa Dracula. Then entries in the contest are so damn funny I was wheezing in the hallways as I read them. I’m sure someone thought I had a rather odd repiratory disorder, because I’d be snorting at my phone and giggling.

Marta emailed me with the winners, and asked me to convey the following:

There were so many incredible stories for this contest that I’ve had a really difficult time picking my favorites—and a really fun time reading them aloud to my husband.

The first winner is Emmy for her tragic tale of a marriage that was disastrous from the beginning (husband bailing on wedding night) to it’s ultimate conclusion (pregnant secretary).

The second place is Joanna and the Halloween wedding.  I was laughing so hard I couldn’t finish reading aloud.

The third book goes to Elizabeth Wadsworth for a wedding story that proves that love, sense, and happiness are not mutually exclusive.

And I’ve got an ARC without the title page, so that goes to Miah, for enduring “gaslighting” by a psychotic mother-in-law/seamstress, a theme which comes up in The Bride of Casa Dracula.

Honorable mentions:  WryHag for bravely wading into cold water to save beer.  JennK for “cheese log rolled in corn flakes.” Cellan for “macaroni cross.” Fall from Grace for using “butt wiggle” and “toilet water” together.” JoyKenn for sitting on her wedding cake.  Meagan who suffered for love.  Booklight for a dark and dramatic tale of conspiracy and corruption.  Marsha for giving us a moment of loveliness and grace.  Jackie for playing air guitar at her reception.  Malin and her “shoes make the bridesmaid” tale of terror.  Amanda G. and her patchwork wedding dress. The Rotund for “blue and white satin Civil War recreation gowns.” Amelia for the camouflage wedding gear.” Staple for two left shoes.  Sarah Frantz for her Shakespearean tale of familial sabotage.  Jennifer Armintrout for her story of the demon bitch in mourning.  Collette for sounding the battle cry of the bride:  ““I’m the fucking bride asshole.  I’ll park wherever the fuck I want.”

Thanks to everyone for the wonderful stories!  Please visit my blog next week for some book giveaways.

If you’re a winner (yay!) you can , and I’ll pass them along to Marta. Thanks for playing, y’all. 

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Categories: Go Ahead, Win Some Shit
Tags: food, make the burning stop, marta acosta, rwa