Today, we have assorted music, some of which may get stuck in your head. But it’s a good thing. Maybe.
First, from Sherri, a clip from “America’s Got Idol Talent Dancing with the Ice Truck Drivers” (yet another reality show). The best part, as Sherri says, is when the Hoff gets up and dances.
Then, from Sarah F, one of the Professors Brilliant, we have Finnish rock band Leningrad Cowboys singing with the Russian Red Army Choir. What are they singing? Sweet Home Alabama. Of course they are.
The hair? The shoes? The suit? No. The choir band rocking out with the tuba. That’s just awesome.
If you’re thinking of working out this weekend, try this routine:
Word.
And, since it’s Friday in August, let’s attempt to suck more of your time:
by SB Sarah • Thursday, September 04, 2008 at 05:17 AM
I started writing this late last week while pondering what it is about Edward that has folks so addicted to the Twilight series, and so willing to overlook or excuse what critics find to be some creeptastic behavior on his part. Since then, the first 12 chapters of Midnight Sun have been leaked, much to author Stephenie Meyer’s dismay, and she’s halted progress on the project indefinitely. Whether the leak was a publicity stunt or whether someone she gave the chapters to was too tempted not to share them, there remains a LOT of interest in Sir Edward of Sparklyville, and I’ve been spending way too much time comparing him to Alpha Heroes from Days Of Yore to determine what it is about him that’s so transfixing, so addictive, so amazing that people are literally going bananas over the idea that they won’t get the rest of his perspective from Midnight Sun. And of course, I’m reading Midnight Sun and wondering how much time I can spend in this guy’s head before I go bananas. I warn you: this entry is holy shit long. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
While there seems to be some divide between the folks who love them some Jacob, I remain fascinated with the people who are over the moon about Edward, particularly as he’s portrayed in Twilight.
The more I think about it, and look back on Edward’s appearances and interactions with Bella in Twilight, the more he reminds me of the same old-same old Alpha romance hero —specifically, the old-school Alpha hero recast in glittery YA paleness. The same Alpha hero characteristics that so many readers find either tiresome or downright terrific are present in Edward, and serve to make him addictive and alluring.
Many people have noted how conservative and conventional Twilight is as a romance. They are not wrong, in my opinion. Joanne Renaud was the first to give me the heads up on her opinion that Edward was old-skool all the way down to the punishing kisses. I agree: Bella and Edward’s romance echoes the old skool romances of the beginnings of the romance genre: stories told deep within the point of view of the heroine, wherein the hero is a mysterious figure whose desires and intentions are not known, let alone his feelings. The old skool romance hallmarks are all there, most notably, as Candy pointed out to me after her glut of the old skool romances earlier this year, the idea that the hero’s worldview must be adopted by the heroine in order for her to secure her happy ending, complete with increased social status, wealth, and possible title.
Twilight fits that mold. Bella must become complicit in the secrecy of Edward’s world, and in fact she’s the one who presses to adopt his worldview – by becoming a vampire herself. Within Edward’s family, Bella is special merely because she is Edward’s choice and is absorbed into his family simply on that basis, leaving her father’s home for his, literally and figuratively, following the traditional pattern that takes a virginal woman from her father’s possession and guardianship to her husband’s, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
What set me on the Edward-as-Alpha road to much pondering were the interactions in Twilight after Edward has decided to cease ignoring Bella. Every time he shows up after he’s decided to talk to Bella, he rescues her, and immediately following sweeps in and manages every detail of her life. Moreover, that first occasion of rescue is telling; it comes at a moment of great vulnerability for Bella.
She’s alone at home on a snowy day, convinced she’s going to fall down on the icy sidewalks or wreck her truck on the roads. But she realizes after she gets to school that her father had put chains on her tires early in the morning, before he left and before she woke up, purely to keep her safe. As Belly realizes that her father was quietly watching out for her, an experience she has little familiarity with, in swoops Edward- literally – to save her by bending flying vans to his will. It’s a subtle moment of underscoring: Bella literally travels from her father’s care to Edward’s care in that moment. From then on, Edward saves her over and over again, sweeping in and managing every detail for her. Her father’s role is merely as a figure in the household, and readers of Midnight Sun know that Edward was as much a figure in that household as Charlie, whether Charlie or Bella knew it or not. Consider the sequence of Edward and Bella’s interactions:
She gets nearly crushed by a van. He saves her life.
She faints in science class. He carries her to the nurse, then gets her excused from classes so he can bring her home.
She is followed by creepy guys in a coastal town. He shows up after reading the thoughts of the villains and rescues her at the last moment before they act on their intentions.
Edward’s Alpha Heroism is solidified by the degree to which he micromanages Bella after those three rescues. He knows whats best. But he takes it one step further by becoming an overseer in her life. Because he doesn’t sleep, he can literally stay with her all the freaking time, aside from when he’s not hunting, and even then he worries about her safety. He makes sure she eats; he watches her as she sleeps. He pretty much rebuilds his entire day around being with her. He meets her after class, he follows her home, and her day in the Twilight narration becomes measured by when she’s with Edward vs. when she’s not. He pays a great deal of lip service to the idea of keeping her safe but it’s more a taming of the Alpha Hero, on speed with added crack and angst, because not only does Edward hover over her and pretty much glue himself to her side, but she wants nothing more than to be with him. Every. Minute. All. Day. He drinks blood to survive; she drinks the experience of being with him to avoid depresson.
He tames his desire to kill her and eat her, but he still consumes her, which is the point that made me the most uncomfortable, but may also serve as a primary reference as to why Edward is so alluring a character. While Edward and Bella don’t knock boots in Twilight, Edward manages to insert himself figuratively into her life and become the center of every moment of Bella’s life – and she’s all for it. More than one person commented to me privately after reading my review that the manner in which Bella subsumes her identity and becomes absorbed by Edward almost symbiotically made them as readers profoundly uncomfortable, because it echoed abusive relationships they witnessed or experienced. It wasn’t romantic for them, that totalitarian management - it was creepy.
Plus there’s the fact that Edward doesn’t really do anything else with his endless days. The only one who does anything with that whole vampiric sleeplessness is Carlisle. He doesn’t need sleep? He’s a butt-trillion years old with light years of medical experience? Holy shit, he’s the best ER doctor ever. Imagine what patient lessons he could relate (thanks to Taylor for the link).
But Edward doesn’t DO anything aside from attend school in presence only, play baseball, and drive cars rather quickly. He plays music but he’s already excellent – a virtuoso, in fact. Bella, for all intents and purposes, becomes his hobby. Being near her, whether she knows it or not, is what he does. But because he has more of a life and routine than she does, she is absorbed into his world, partly because she has no real life in Forks herself, and partly because the secrecy of their society demands it.
The biggest characteristic of an Old Skool Alpha Hero is The Rape of the Heroine, which doesn’t literally occur in Twilight, though one could argue that James’ biting Bella could be interpreted as rape, and Edward’s refusal to change her into a vampire as the refusal to do so. Edward does invade Bella’s privacy and home without her permission in order to watch her, and if his commentary is to be believed, to try to resist killing her. That leashed intention to kill, I think, can be interpreted the same as the leashed intent to rape. But in a strange turn, Bella begs for that violation: she wants to be the same as Edward, and she wants him to kill her and change her.
Regardless of who asks for what form whom, Edward’s possession and possessive attitude are alarmingly Alpha. When anyone—his brothers, random serial rapists hiding in small towns, or another vampire—threatens the human he considers his own, Edward goes berserk. His possession of Bella, even in his mind, is complete and total, and her willingness to follow that possession, since he knows what’s best for her, casts her in a sheepish model that I never recovered from as I read Twilight.
Reading Midnight Sun’s first 12 chapters (while I try to intersperse reading The Jewel of Medina at the same time, speaking of going berserk) hasn’t helped much. Edward’s self-loathing is evident, but the “I’m not good enough for her but she’s MINE MINE MINE EDWARD SMASH” attitude reinforces my suspicions: that Edward is an old-skool Alpha male hero in the classic model, dipped in sparkles and dispensed to a younger audience. Perhaps that explains his allure - there are many, many readers who adore the Alpha model in their romance hero, and Edward is no different.
by SB Sarah • Wednesday, October 08, 2008 at 01:32 AM
I try to make sweet monkey love to my treadmill in the afternoons when I can, and while doing so I am usually reading and half-listening to whatever music I find on the upteen-thirty music video channels on my cable lineup.
And what to the corner of my eye should appear but a video directed by...Stephenie Meyer? From a genre I call “whine-rock” comes Jack’s Mannequin, and a host of rather obvious images that are the visual equivalent over overly-sweet candy. Hearts! Lots of them! Oy, says I. People’s article has a quote from the band’s singer-keyboardist stating that the video has a whimsical, other-worldliness to it.” Oy, again, says I.
I don’t have a lot of time at the ‘puter to do the full on Google-Fu, but I’m pretty sure that the floating pale corpse-like person near the end is the actress from Twilight.
Wanna see? Have a look & listen:
Now - the real question: what romance authors ought to be directing music videos? I mean, come on now. Five minutes with the Author Talk ladies and Aerosmith would have a KICKIN’ video.
by SB Sarah • Sunday, November 02, 2008 at 06:48 AM
Get a load of this shop: in Asbury Park, NJ, there’s a bookstore entirely devoted to all things paranormal from ghost stories to ghost hunting guides - to the equipment for getting that huntin’ done.
In a time when independent bookstores are few and far between, becoming a place for like-minded people to hang out seems like a growing trend. Publishers Lunch recently mentioned Schuler Books & Music in Michigan, which is trying to acquire a liquor license for their Grand Rapids store. Quoteth the Lunch:
Co-owner Bill Fehsenfeld says, “The vision is it’s an enhancement to the bookstore and our cafe and provides an alternate place where people can relax, browse the books and enjoy food from our cafe. We’re feeling this will be able to maybe lengthen our hours into the evening more.”
I hope these bookstores can survive the turning economy, because ghost hunting and wine drinking? ALL GOOD. I might have to roadtrip down to Asbury Park to visit the Paranormal store, because damn does that sound cool.
by SB Sarah • Tuesday, November 04, 2008 at 11:26 AM
I’m attempting to liveblog my reading of this Historical Undone. It remains to be seen whether I’ll be able to read and annotate by the end of the day, but I shall give it a shot.
Lord Alexander whatever a lot of names Beaumont entered White’s, found no one would look at or speak to him, and challenged his friend Wheeler to inform him what was going on. Seems Lord Alexander whatever a lot of names Beaumont (no mention of his actual title, which seems odd considering the normal manner in which a peer would be referred to by his friends, no?) has a wife who resides in Yorkshire. Lady Melicent, the wife, according to Lord Alex WALON Beaumont’s friends, is writing sultry books about sexual escapades of the ton, barely disguising names and thus costing the humperating males their very rich fiancees when said fiancees read the spicy writing.
“Lady Loveless’s sources are impeccable. Which is why she has to be stopped.”
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN.
Cue trip for Lord Alex WALON Beaumont UP to the WILD COLD WILDS of WILD YORKSHIRE!
*traveling music here*
Ah! In the course of ruminating on how very very angry Lord Alex WALON Beaumont is, we learn that he was forced into marriage to Lady Melicent by his father, Duke of Beaumont. Same surname as title - how Windsorian! But wouldn’t he have a courtesy title, and not his own surname? Unless he’s not the heir.
Ok, time to stop nit picking. Dammit Kalen Hughes, all that historical instruction is rubbing in. Damn You!
Oh ho! I am right! Lord Alex WALON Beaumont is a younger son, and his father pushed him into marriage by threatening to remove his rights to run the estates if he didn’t marry because his older brother, Henry, has a “preference for men” and wouldn’t ever marry. Yeah. Because being gay precludes him from running the estate? And there were no beard wives in the Regency? Paging Phyllida, Brotherhood of Philander, Party of three...Lady Phyllida, your table is ready.
So their marriage is unsatisfactory to Lord Alex WALON Beaumont, and he didn’t like it. Rage, he has it.
But he’s noble because he loves the land and the people on it and is the only one in the family who does. I suppose it’s a mark of the brevity of the format that the characters, even ones not formally introduced, are cast in such black and white terms. And he’s pissed off even more at the thought that someone - not him - introduced his wife to the ways of the fleshy flesh sword, because judging from the three lines he read, she’s got an intimate knowledge of the intimacy that couldn’t have emerged from their cold, lifeless coupling.
The plot! It thickens!
Melicent, it seems, is also a creature of innate nobility and dedication to family. She’d gone to Yorkshire to care for her mother after her father’s death, because, AND I QUOTE, “Melicent’s feckless young brother Aloysius was running wild.”
Oh noes! Feckless Aloysius is running wild! Raise the portcullis!
And Lord Alex WALON Beaumont is peeved because Melicent defied his wishes and left for for Yorkshire. Girlfriend stood up for herself, left his house, and now writes ferociously erotic fiction that thinly hides the true identity of its participants. Somehow, Lady Melicent has an impossibly accurate source of gossip that transmits the news from town to her frozen abode in Yorkshire, where she writes up the humpity hump hump humpity hump hump (Look at Frosty Go!) and sends it to be printed with such haste that the gossip in print is read by those who shouldn’t know of it, and lives… are changed… for… ever. Holy shit. She’s a blogger.
Behold Lord Alex WALON Beaumont, who now plans to “go to Yorkshire and seduce his errant wife according to the style laid down by Lady Loveless. He would expose her for the wanton she must surely be.”
And therein lies the end of chapter 1. Aside from that last part where he jumps to a bit of a conclusion and decides to go seduce his wife because she knows all about sex, based on the evidence presented by a bunch of uncomfortable men in a club who are mad that this writer has exposed them for the profligate sluts there are, these are some of my very favorite plot constructions:
1. Heroine with hidden talents, especially one who can skewer those what need skewering, and also one who hides those talents behind shyness, so that she is often underestimated.
2. Hero who must reevaluate his impressions of his wife.
3. Having the hero and heroine fall for one another already within the boundaries of marriage. I’m sort of a sucker for the ‘I thought I knew you but WHOA’ plotline - this may be a byproduct of my love for the first romance I ever read, Midsummer Magic.
So even though I’m picking the nits like damn and whoa, I’m having a good old time over here.
by SB Sarah • Thursday, November 06, 2008 at 06:33 AM
We interrupt this Day of HaBO-lation to ... give away some books! Jill Sorenson is giving away five ARCs of her her debut single-title romance Crash Into Me, due out in January 2009. Crash Into Me is about a tough female FBI agent placed undercover to investigate a gorgeous-hot but reclusive pro surfer.
Want one? She’s looking for help among the brilliance of the Bitchery: her editor at Bantam is looking for sexy/provocative song lyrics or titles for the title of her next book. “Crash Into Me” is, obviously, the extremely sultry Dave Matthews Band song, so her editor wants to keep with that theme. Jill’s untitled book, to be released in fall 2009, features “a wildlife expert heroine and a reluctant sheriff hero, investigating a mountain lion mauling in the fictional desert town of Tenaja Falls, California.”
[Note: Wildlife expert heroine?! Wildlife expert?! Paging Paul Tolme! Paging Paul Tolme!]
Jill will pick the winners this time tomorrow, and winners will each receive a shiny, spiffy ARC of Crash Into Me. Winners are humbly asked to post a review or their thoughts of the book on their own blogs, or to post them as a comment to the winner’s announcement tomorrow.
Here are some awful suggestions that are easy to beat to get you started: The Lion Sleeps Tonight!. Dude Looks Like a Lion! And… wait for it… wait for it… Love Bites!
Truly, there aren’t enough 80’s Hair Band Power Ballads used as romance novel titles, and that’s a damn hairy shame.
by SB Sarah • Friday, November 07, 2008 at 09:00 AM
Jill Sorenson had a hell of a time picking the winners of her ARC. Not only are you guys well read, but you have a huge discography of musical knowledge, too.
Jill says:
It was a lot of fun to read the comments and suggestions. Ah, the bitchery is wise.
It was so hard to pick the winners! Some of the ideas were very close to ones I’d already suggested to my editor (Fall Into Me). And others made me laugh out loud (Pounce On Me, It’s My Wildlife). But I picked these:
Missy AnnCOVER ME Alyc LAY ME DOWN
Kim Boler I FALL TO PIECES maris_32 INTO THE WILD Inez KelleyHUNGRY EYES, TAKE ON ME
Congrats to the winners! You can with your contact info to get your delicious, shiny ARC. Thanks for playing!
A website that reviews romance novels from a couple of smart bitches who will always give it to you straight. No bullshit. No gushing--unless the author really deserves it.
Now, I love the snark more than I should, but I kinda have an issue with middle-aged male reviewers trashing on the longing and yearning in “Twilight.” These are the same bozos who will give raves to violent male fantasy…
I’m attempting to liveblog my reading of this Historical Undone. It remains to be seen whether I’ll be able to read and annotate by the end of the day, but I shall give it a shot.
We interrupt this Day of HaBO-lation to ... give away some books! Jill Sorenson is giving away five ARCs of her her debut single-title romance Crash Into Me, due out in January 2009. Crash Into Me is about a tough female FBI agent placed undercover to investigate a gorgeous-hot but reclusive pro surfer.
