In a funny intersection of my fascination with all things Scottish and the fact that I’m a righteous Hebe, check this article out: the first Scottish-born Rabbi in Scotland has commissioned and been granted approval for a tartan for the approximately 7,000 Scottish Jews. Rabbi Jacobs, who is the leader of a Lubavitch congregation in Glasgow, traveled the Highlands to research the tartan, which is blue, white, gold and red, and pretty damn spiffy if you ask me.
At the official website for the tartan, Jewish Tartan, you can get trews and kippahs made from the fabric, which just cracks me up for some reason. Check out a sample of the fabric, which is sewn in a pattern of threes and sevens, three for the members of a Bet Din (the Jewish Rabbinical Court) and seven, which is a number representing wholeness: Jewish brides circle their grooms seven times before the beginning of a wedding ceremony, during which is said the sheva berachot, the Seven Blessings.
So there’s your mini Hebrew school lesson of the day, folks, and congrats to Rabbi Jacobs for a righteous tartan, which proves, definitively, if it’s not Scottish & Jewish, it’s chhhhhhhhraaaap!
This week: costume drama, as in ‘How much drama do costume portrayals like these cause among those who, you know, do research?’
Sarah: Between the ruffles and the puffy sleeves and the vest, I had to giggle. The ice dancing puff-shouldered heroine was worth a snort, too. But the incredibly bendy legs of the horse? Oh, holy shit.
Candy: Miss Manners on graceful abduction-on-horseback etiquette: “Gentle abductee: The new rage when being pulled off your feet by frilly-shirted men on horseback is to struggle for freedom, but it seems to Miss Manners that this new development lacks a certain couthness and grace. Try arching your back to present a flattering profile, and remember to keep that pinkie up. Packing your own fan to ensure your tresses stream behind you is, however, gauche at best, and implies that your abductor does not know his job. In this particular instance, Miss Manners would like to gently remind you that natural is best.”
Sarah: Nobody forgets the nude dude at the garden party, that’s for sure.
Candy: Titles that were briefly contemplated for this cover before being discarded:
“The Nudist and the Drag Queen”
“Is That Really a Third Nipple?”
“Still Life with Schlong and Potted Geranium”
“For the Love of a Dead-Faced Hooker”
Sarah: Nothing but NOTHING says “Scottish” like slops. And purple hose. In the ocean.
Candy: What the fuck are those black smudges on his chest? Are they supposed to be chest hair? I mean, I have full sympathy for artists trying to depict chest hair without making it look smudgy, but seriously: the bits on his sternum look like grease paint. The better to accentuate his top-notch man-titty?
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Oy, Kate, I hated seeing that lovely (and utterly inoffensive) body so whitely truncated! What’s to see that would make children cry or matrons pee through their Depends? There wasn’t even a hint of mushroom-headed, blue-veined, one-eyed trouser snake visible!…
Fact of the matter is, if the second cover means a bigger print run and sell-in than the first because one major retailer has concerns, then I say YEAH for Cover B! Sell more books!! No one is going to…
Excellent book. Got it in mail Friday afternoon and had finished it by midnight Friday. Thanks so much.
(That “no kids” should be “no kids with the one you Truly Love” or similar. That and having the people you actually DID have kids with know subconsciously that they were second-best to you, and all the fun marital disatisfaction…
