Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Unquestionably powerful librarian Nancy Pearl (I mean, dude, she has her own Action Figure!) has a new article up at NPR of her recommendations for carry-on books that make traveling and waiting a marvelous escape. Says Pearl, “You want a book — either fiction or nonfiction — that’s complex enough to smother your annoyance when the guy in the row ahead reclines his seat into your lap, but not so intellectually challenging that it demands a dictionary.” Oh, hell to the yes, ma’am.

And ho, there, what awesome sauce through yonder linkage breaks? It is the Heyer, and she is on the list! Heyer’s An Infamous Army is among the books recommended as perfect for carry-on reading, to which I say, “Carry on, Ms. Pearl, for verily thou art rocking my socks.”

But wait, there’s more! We’ll sell you the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge! Sourcebooks, which has reissued many of Heyer’s books with absolutely scrumptiously opulent covers (if they were pastries they’d be moist cupcakes with four inches of perfect icing), is offering 10 books to Smart Bitch readers.

We have three copies of An Infamous Army, plus one each of Friday’s Child, Cotillion, Royal Escape, False Colours, Lady of Quality, Black Sheep, and Faro’s Daughter. Ten books for ten winners!

So leave a comment, and tell us your favorite Heyer scene, character, or just book in general. I’m not eligible, but I will say with no fear that I can reread over and over the scene in Devil’s Cub where Kate Mary (sorry!) begins to sniffle in front of Vidal, and he realizes due to her graceless snurfle she’s not at all like her silly sister, oh, no no no.

I’ll pick 10 winners at random, and you’ll get yourself some Heyer if you win. You have 24 hours. Carry on!

ETA: Heyer, Heyer everwhere! GalleyCat is hosting a GalleyLOLCat contest, wherein the winner gets some Heyer, too. Bitchery reader Mandy’s cat is in the running: seems Tiny likes Julia Quinn. Tiny, says I, has good taste. 

Your Quest: Kinsale Poetry about, in tribute to, regarding, or generally celebrating any of Laura Kinsale’s books, characters, etc. You can write it in the voice of one of the characters, or you can write it to one of the characters (though I believe Candy will fight you over more than a few of them). Whatever floats your boat, it’s business poetry time.

Your Poetic Format: Limerick or haiku. The choice is yours. You can enter as many times as you want. Bring it on, bring it often. Just bring it.

Your Judge: Laura Kinsale will judge the entries, and has the following words of encouragement for you poetic masterminds out there: Hints for contestants: My taste in limericks and haiku would probably be similar to Miss Leda’s.  I will try not to give hedgehogs an unfair advantage.

Your Time Limit: You have 24 hours to post your poetic awesomeness in the comments.

Your Prize Booty: Thanks to SourceBooks Casablanca, we have a kickass set of prizes to give away.

The grand prize winner will receive a three-book set of the Kinsale books being released from Sourcebooks Casablanca: Midsummer Moon, Seize the Fire, and The Prince of Midnight, signed by Laura Kinsale.

Three honorable mention prizes will also be awarded, and the winners will receive one of the three Sourcebook Kinsale releases, also signed by Laura Kinsale.

So get your poetry on, folks. In order to inspire you, we provide samples.

Kinsale picks winners
Soon, there will be rejoicing
as books find new homes!

Laura Kinsale writes:

Indeed, it was an agonizing choice.  However, one must girdle one’s bustle, apply all due care and make one’s selections of the creme de la creme among these entries, all of which were memorable.

Knowing that we must put aside Miss Candy’s brilliant haiku in Middle English, as I am told she is not eligible, let us proceed to the Honorable Mentions.

Firstly, Laura H because I had to look up “Double Dactyl.”

Secondly, Jenny, for Best Use of Buffle-Headed in a haiku.

Thirdly, Lara, for her haiku to Allegretto.  Thank you.  Just...thank you.

And finally, the Grand Prize goes to MS Jones.  I’m sorry, but “Seize the Hedgehog” was simply irresistible and now I will probably have to actually write a book so I can name it that.  Curse you MS Jones! 

However, lest the SB’s suspect that I simply fell for the hedgehog, I must emphasize that her complete collection of 3 haikus and a limerick rose to a level of excellence that could not be denied.

I applaud the creativity and awesomeness of the SB’s.  I never expected so many excellent entries.  Thanks also to Sourcebooks for contributing the prizes!

Congratulations to our winners, and thank you for your poetic mastery. Damn y’all are good. Thank you to Laura Kinsale and to Danielle at Sourcebooks Casablanca for the repeated and thorough awesomeness.