Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Here’s a twist on the free/cheap ebook trend.

LBF Books is giving away the first 25 copies of the ebook of LeeAnn Burke’s Deadly Secrets today. Proceeds of the print book order will be donated to the American Breast Cancer Foundation.

What totally tickles me about this book is the name of the heroine: Roxanne St-Clair. Whoa! Seems that Burke wrote the first draft of this book over 10 years ago, long before she knew of the Other Roxanne St. Clair. Seems the Other Roxanne is down with the name thing.

Mad props to Burke and to LBF for donating proceeds to the ABCF. 

Entertainment Weekly has a round up of reviews from all over. But I was taken with finding the most snarky element of each one. Two of my faves:

The Star-Ledger’s Stephen Whitty: In turning Meyer’s words into images, however, the movie sometimes makes them a bit absurd.... The special effects—with the undead leaping about like something from “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Vampire”—are more silly than surreal. The spiky dyed hairdos suggest metrosexual monsters who live not on blood, but styling gel. 

I have a little crush on Roger Ebert thanks to his review of Twilight: “She has questions. “How did you appear out of nowhere and stop that truck?” Well might she ask. When he finally explains that he is a vampire, he goes up from 8 to 10 on her Erotometer. Why do girls always prefer the distant, aloof, handsome, dangerous dudes instead of cheerful chaps like me?”

[Thanks to Darlynne and KatieBabs for the linkage.]

Time’s Richard Corliss: ”There’s an audible shiver as they first spy the teen vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), his impossibly gorgeous face caked in a mime’s pallor, sitting in biology class next to young Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart). When he holds an apple in his hands to present to her — the novel’s cover image — the girls emit an awestruck sigh, as if they’d just seen Zac Efron in the flesh or a puppy on YouTube.”

I wish Corliss hadn’t been so quick to dismiss the cinema version as a pre-dose of “chick flick,” pairing the retro film elements of focusing on the about-to-kiss faces with the youth of the audience as some sort of rebirth of innocent cool - then tossing that rebirth into a pejorative slam against “movie estrogen.” If he hadn’t slid into sexist derision, I’d be hollering with glee about Corliss’ point, made at the end of the film: “It rekindles the warmth of great Hollywood romances, where foreplay was the climax and a kiss was never just a kiss.”

So, did you see it? What did you think?

I watched this and proclaimed that verily I hath a boner for Steven Colbert. Of course, he lives in my town so I probably shouldn’t say that out loud. I’ll see him at Starbucks and die of embarrassment.

[Thank you to Kelly W. for the link.]
[Thanks also to El for the updated link.]

I’m watching the Steeler game which, in the snow, looks like someone shook a snow globe and shoved a football game into it. While it’s half time, I thought I’d don my ever-so-no-flattering referee jersey and lay out a few penalties. Really, vertical stripes? With breasts? NOT a good fashion choice.

But anyway. 15 yard penalty and a royal spanking to TMZ.com for the idea that Fabio is looking good for “the seven women and one man out there still buying romance novels.” Yeah. Seven million.

And an additional roughing the kicker call against TMZ for being completely and obviously jealous. Come on now. Hair aside, that man looks damn good for 49.

[Thanks to CharmedKim and to KatieBabs for the link.]

And IO9, once again, lands on the penalty list. Five yards for delay of game for the following comment in their Twilight review:

That Twilight the movie makes such little effort to convince with the quasi-vamp mythology shows that it understands its target audience - but also that, ultimately, it doesn’t care enough about those who haven’t read the books to offer up anything more than a Harlequin Romance bodice-ripper dressed up for a superhero audience.

Bodice ripper Harlequin? That’s like my saying that fantasy and scifi are the same, and both are equally stupid. Bad, IO9, Bad.

I ordered a pair of mitten/gloves - the kind where there’s fingerless gloves inside mitten tops which flip over the gloves. But what makes these mittens so funky that I’m telling you about them is: Retractable Thumbs!

From DebzCreations at Etsy:

The idea for thumb flaps was given to me by a customer after trying to use a pen while wearing her new convertible gloves.

With a flick of your finger you can open the thumb flap and use a pen without removing your gloves. Or pop both thumb flaps and you can text away on your cell!!

As someone who spends a good amount of time typing with her thumbs, I’m so excited about these gloves, it’s ridiculous. And since I know so many of you are thumb typers, too, I figured warm thumb typing would be a gift that keeps on giving. Or, gvng.

I’m savoring a lot of time on Etsy lately shopping for gifts, and it’s dangerous fun. Fun because, well, crap, there’s Snarky Cards and Snarky Cross Stitch (I’m a big fan of “Fuck Cancer.") and dangerous because, crap, now I’m not going to get anything done today.