Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

First of all: only eight and a half more hours to get those entries in for the contest, my pretties! Get your entries in before 10 p.m. PDT tonight. Or else…

Second: The Very Tall Husband is now reading Seize the Fire! MWAHAHAHAHA. OK, he hasn’t started yet, I gave him the book just a short while ago (I nearly passed out when he asked “So what’s that romance novel you wanted me to read?") and he’s now busy surfing Automotive Insanity at the Something Awful Forums, so God knows when he’s going to come up for air. But still! He’s going to be reading a romance novel! Yay! I’ll even see if I can wrangle a review from him, or even just a jumble of impressions, what he liked and didn’t like about the book, etc.

Third: Uh, no third, really, other than HOLY SHIT I need to finish watching the fourth season of Futurama that I loaned from the library because it’s four days overdue. Wendy Super-Librarian, please don’t hate me.

Later, my Peepish peeps, and Ra willing, I’ll have the third part of the Mr. Impossible Thumbnail Theater up by tonight.

To Rosario: We, the Smart Bitches, dub thee:

As usual: guess that romance novel hero or heroine:

World famous SWF, breaking lose from longstanding emotional bondage, seeks RV-driving man, adorable kids optional but add much to plotline. Must be willing to tolerate political intrigue, mass press attention, and on-the-run lifestyle.

Longmire has added more covers!

Go now and seek the inspiration for you new piece of writing, titled Savage Love Cabbage.

Us Smarty Bitchypants have come up with an invaluable tool for all romance novel authors, everywhere: A Romance Novel Title Generator!

Yes, now you no longer have to lay awake nights trying to come up with that perfect title for your work-in-progress! This generator with its own patented Bitchenatin'® Technology takes all the stress and anguish out of coming up with a snappy title and leaves you more time to decide whether your hero's eyes are "gunmetal" or "polished flint." Go ahead, give it a whirl! If you don't like the title you first come up with, click on the button again to come up with another one. Rest assured we have ALL sub-genres covered, from paranormals to Westerns to European historicals of all sorts. And after you generate that title, you can enter in another Smart Bitch contest--this one requiring more than your page-refreshing skillz.

Your next bestseller should be titled:

The

Contest Details

1. First, keep clickin' that button until you get a title you really, really like.
2. Write a wildly romantic paragraph of no more than 200 words containing ALL the words in the title you just generated. All submissions must be headed by the randomly-generated title; those without will be disqualified.
3. Post the title and the paragraph in the Comments, or e-mail the entry to either or . Entries must be received before 10 p.m. PDT this Saturday (April 16, 2005).
4. On 10 a.m.(ish) PDT Sunday, April 17, 2005, an entry containing ALL valid contest submissions will be posted. Read through those entries, and then e-mail us your votes. Yes, the winner of this contest will be democratically-chosen. One vote per person. Comments will be disabled because we want to keep the results a surprise, plus ballot-box stuffing is a lot easier via Comments. Not that we expect a whole lot of cheating or anything.
5. You have until midnight PDT on Monday (April 18, 2005) to vote. Votes received after that time will not be accepted.
6. The winner will be announced on Tuesday morning, April 19 2005.
7. Prize will be a $10 Amazon.com gift certificate AND one of our custom pseudo-aristocratic Smart Bitch titles. Look: a title AND money!

So what are you waiting for? Generate that title and submit your entries, bitches!