It’s time for our Friday funk: give me the name of the heroine, the title of the book, and the name of the author, and do so expediently, and we Smart Bitches who Confuseth Michelles shall bestow upon you a fine Smarte Bitche Title!
Driven lady seeks warrior lord
Blonde beauty with earthy upbringing seeks rakishly confident noble warrior to help me attain revenge. Must be willing to deal with plainly spoken miss, one who stubbornly refuses to divulge the truth of who I am. Must also not be alarmed should I eat the shrubbery.
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Ahem. Now that I’ve recovered from my fit of hysterics, here’s some other totally awesome news: The Romantic Bitches Association has its own forum now. Hie thee there and check it out! And if you haven’t joined yet--well, what are you waiting for? We’re totally fucking awesome.
OK, I’m totally stealing Michele’s thunder here for which I apologize but I can’t help it because wheeeeeee I totally won this auction on AAR Aid for eight autographed Loretta Chase books and WOOOOOOO and holy crap I just spent over $200 on books when I told myself “No books until you’ve moved and settled in” but who fucking cares, autographed copies of Loretta Chase novels aahhhhhhh and I mean ahhhhhhh ahhhh aaaahhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Wheeeeee and also ahhhhhhh.
OK, need to stop hyperventliating.
BUT AHHHHHH EIGHT AUTOGRAPHED COPIES! INCLUDING LORD OF SCOUNDRELS! AHHHHHHHH!
(I’m also happy the money is going to a good cause. But have I also mentioned AHHHHHH I WON WOOO LORETTA CHASE AHHHHH!)
The accounting firm of Bitchypoo and Crankypants have tabulated our results, and we are proud to crown the winner, Michele, for her entry, Longing for the Vigilant Outlaw.
Ffor all of you who fflocked to our site to ffling your votes, thank you ffondly!
Now summon the ffair maidens to throw fflowers at your ffeet! Michele, kneel and receive your prize, as the Smart Bitches hereby dub the:
Congratulations and thank you to all our ffine participants!
UPDATE: Pregnancy brain strikes again. My apologies to our two Michel(l)es - most humbly I admit I got confused!
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I saw the link to this hilarious article about female porn on HelenKay’s blog a few days ago, and meant to make fun of it. Unfortunately, a shiny object came along and distr--oh, hey, look, disco ball!
Whoops, where was I? Anyway, yeah, this article? HILARIOUS. Read it. Pay attention to their definition of what’s pornographic, to wit:
pornography – 3: the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction
I’m not going to bother deconstructing the article, because, well, it’s just too goddamn easy, and it doesn’t offer anything new that I haven’t yelled about a bunch of times already on this forum. I will, however, provide lots of links to some primo prurience, going strictly by their definition of what constitutes pornography.
Badly-drawn religious tracts: PORN-O-RAMA!
I always thought she was batshit insane, but now I know better: she’s pornographic too!
Porn for Democrats and Liberals!
Not to neglect the other side: Porn for Republicans and Conservatives!
Unf unf unf unf: Meatpackers are sexxxxxxy
OMG! Porn involving UNBORN CHILDREN!!!!!!!!! (Mo’ exclamation points = mo’ outrage)
Actually, come to think of it, the article itself is pretty pornographic. Look at how it sensationalizes the act of reading or watching a movie (I mean, COME ON: “When a single woman leaves a steamy chick flick only to return home alone to her cats and tub of ice cream, a part of her breaks—the heart part”? BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA), all in the name of arousing shame and outrage.
Porn-mongers: they’re everywhere. Are YOU protected?
A website that reviews romance novels from a couple of smart bitches who will always give it to you straight. No bullshit. No gushing--unless the author really deserves it.
I could REALLY have done without the “after” picture of the artificial hymen.
I like the idea that you get a discount if you buy them in bulk. There has to be a romance novel in that idea……
From Links!
Put me on record as hating plagiarists beyond all reason. My first reaction was “does he even have a son?”
But, you know, over the holidays when I was dashing through the snow in a sleigh - only…
The fake hymen was invented in Japan.
Huh.
That sounds about right.
From Links!
JenB, I am soooo glad I wasn’t the only one to tumble across that thing. It took me ten minutes to catch my breath.
And why does my Muse need a date with a lavender-haired half-dragon with slate-colored…
From Links!
A couple of members of my family sometimes tell stories that happened to them, except that in my memory they happened to me, or to someone else whom I then told my family about. It’s weird and a little disconcerting,…
