SomerandomFridaymusingsandrantings

by Candy Friday, July 29, 2005 at 10:27 AM

I really do need to stay away from the AAR boards. I tell myself this, but I click on the linkies anyway. Oh dear. This one is Jorie’s fault.

One reader blames romance novels for the death of normal relationships.

I think romance novels are death to normal, real relationships. You start thinking all that action, adventure and passion is the norm in the real world. You start to look for a man with romance novel hero traits. As a woman who started reading romance in her teens I didn’t realize I was doing this until my early twenties. If the guy wasn’t exciting and romance novel like I didn’t want him.

OK, I’ll admit that this post wouldn’t have bugged me as much if the poster hadn’t made such a sweeping statement. Death to normal, real relationships? Not for me. Much as I love to read romance novels, I wouldn’t want to live one. Too much turmoil and heartbreak for my taste. But reading it and living through it vicariously? Hell yeah.

Hey, I wouldn’t want to live a mystery, SF, fantasy or, hell, even a lit fic novel, either.

If romance novels are fucking with your head, then by all means say as much. “I am unable to read romance novels without allowing them to fuck with my head. I will cease reading them because the fuckery is spilling into my life and the decisions I make.” That’s a perfectly acceptable sentiment. Saying that it’s the romance novel’s fault, though, instead of your own inability to separate fiction from expectations of reality? Pah. And trying to generalize this further and make it seem as if they’re responsible for a greater social phenomenon? Double pah.

And another musing came courtesy of Elizabeth Mahon, who spotted the following tidbit on Hollywood-Elsewhere:

Why do the women reading paperback books in subways and airport lounges always seem to be reading mass-market fiction? Why don’t I ever see one, just one, reading a book by, say, William Faulkner or Gore Vidal?

OK, anyone smell the fragrant sexist bullshit wafting off this observation? I rode public transport for years and years, and I saw precious few people, male, female or pre-or-post-op transsexual reading Faulkner or Vidal or other such lofty authors on the bus or MAX. Most of the men weren’t reading, period, and if they were, they were every bit as guilty of indulging in mass market paperbacks as women. The exceptions would be people reading newspapers (men seemed a bit more likely to do this than women) and college students doing some last-minute swotting on the bus, something female students seemed to do as frequently as male students.

At any rate, if this asshole had ridden public transport in Portland and seen me reading, he would’ve seen me reading everything from Lolita to Moby Dick to Le Petit Nicolas to The Shadow and the Star. I even read The Sound and The Fury on the bus. Does that make me all special and shit? Should I take a photo and e-mail it to this jerkwad?

The reply he wrote to Elizabeth when she e-mailed him about it was even more distasteful:

I don’t like mass-market popular fiction, as a rule. It’s basically junk-food stuff. There is a world out there...an amazing wonderful world of knowledge and exotic places and fresh atttitude and beliefs and sensuality and illumination...all of which is barely paid attention to by mass-market fiction writers. Don’t try and justify lazy, degraded literary appetites. So you read this crap yourself, right? That’s what your letter was about? You feeling vaguely guilty about putting junk-food fiction into your brain and your soul, and wanting to rationalize the anti-intellectual, impulse-minded, short-attention-span tendences of women of your generation? Something along these lines?

Woo damn. You know, when I see those godawful monstrous SUVs, H2s and pickup trucks all blinged out and growling along in the urban wilderness of Portland, sometimes I think “Holy shit, penis enhancer much?” This is the first time I’ve thought the same thing about somebody’s opinion about literature.

“LOOK AT ME! MY TASTE IN LITERATURE IS AWESOME! THE THICKER THE SPINE, THE MORE OBTUSE THE PROSE, THE BIGGER MY COCK! KNEEL BEFORE ME, BITCHES!”

Picture of {name}
39 comments1 trackback Bookmark to del.icio.us Add to Technorati favorites Digg this post on digg.com RSS
Categories: Random MusingsThe Link-O-Lator

Tags: This entry has not been tagged yet.

LongSnakeMoan

by Candy Friday, July 29, 2005 at 08:34 AM

All right, bitches. ‘Tis another Friday, and time for another Personal Ad challenge. Guess the author, title and heroine’s name (don’t forget the heroine’s name!) correctly, and lo, find thyself the proud owner of a happy, shiny, beyootiful and always-tasteful *koff* Smart Bitch aristocratic title.

Long Snake Moan

SWF, shiftless late-night DJ, currently unemployed, appreciative of PJ Harvey and REM (among others), looking for my even flakier sister and maybe some love along the way. Hot recluses who have undergone some sort of crazy emotional trauma a plus.

Picture of {name}
17 commentsTrackback Bookmark to del.icio.us Add to Technorati favorites Digg this post on digg.com RSS
Categories: Guess That Lonely Heart!

Tags: This entry has not been tagged yet.

Howdoyousolveaproblemlikeaflashback?

by SB Sarah Thursday, July 28, 2005 at 01:17 PM

Writers: What do you do when you have a hero or heroine with a bazillion years of relevant backstory that must be brought to bear against the present-day romance?

Readers: What method of backstory development do you prefer?

Do you like the flashback? The dropped comment and the tearful, wrenching confession of what those dropped comments really meant? The prologue that tries to tie up the whole mess? What’s your favorite method of greeting the past when looking at the present and the future of a character? We want to know! 

Picture of {name}
25 commentsTrackback Bookmark to del.icio.us Add to Technorati favorites Digg this post on digg.com RSS
Categories: Random Musings

Tags: This entry has not been tagged yet.

TheDemon’sDaughterByEmmaHolly

by Candy Wednesday, July 27, 2005 at 03:52 PM
Our Grade:
B
Title: The Demon's Daughter
Author: Emma Holly
Publication Info: Berkley Publishing Group 2004, ISBN: 0425199185
Genre: Paranormal

OK, all of you who were taking bets on whether I’d love or hate The Demon’s Daughter can now close the books because the results are in: I liked. Liked it quite a bit, actually, but certain issues with the storytelling prevent me from giving it an outright A, though it’s still a keeper.

This is the first romantic steampunk novel I’ve ever read. The world is somewhat similar to Victorian England, in that there is a queen named Victoria and certain aspects of the culture distinctly resemble that of late nineteenth-century England, but there the resemblance ends. Like many SF/F novels, geography is compressed; on the same relatively small continental mass are countries that are analogues to real-world Mediterranean, African, Caribbean, Indian and Middle-Eastern cultures.

And then there are the Yama, humanoid beings in the coldest reaches of the far north. The humans call them demons, though not to their faces. The discovery of their advanced civilization is a relatively recent one when the book starts. The humans and non-humans are just barely beginning to learn to co-exist. One of the treaties struck up between Queen Victoria and the Yamish Emperor involves exiling the criminal lower-class demons (known as rohn) into the dockside districts of Avvar (think late nineteenth-century London with more diversity and fewer racial hang-ups). In exchange, the demons export their advanced technologies, such as electric horseless carriages, gasless lights and advanced surgical techniques.

More,more,more!>
Picture of {name}
12 commentsTrackback Bookmark to del.icio.us Add to Technorati favorites Digg this post on digg.com RSS
Categories: Reviews by Author, H-KReviews by Grade: B

Tags: This entry has not been tagged yet.

Supermodelsandactresses:eatyourfuckingheartsout…

by Candy Wednesday, July 27, 2005 at 08:37 AM

Due to a truly bizarre progression of e-mail exchanges between some co-worker friends and me, I found a truly fascinating article about sea cucumbers.

The sea cucumber breathes through its anus, entertains visitors in its anus, and if it doesn’t like the look of you it projects its anal plumbing in your face. When it’s really under pressure it disembowels itself. Laura Woodward has been looking into sea cucumbers, literally.

(...)

When provoked, certain species of sea cucumber shoot a network of the culvian tubes that line its anus at the intruder. Computed as foe, I had encountered this bizarre self-defence strategy.

If small enough, the attacker becomes entangled in the sea cucumber’s sticky web.

Crabs and small crayfish can die a slow death this way. Fortunately for the sea cucumber its attackers are few and far between, and its internal organs are a highly poisonous and effective deterrent to most predators.

Even stranger is how this creature deals with a life-threatening situation. Its sides split open and it voluntarily disembowels itself, tossing most of its internal organs over-board.

I can’t stop laughing. Dude. The thing SHOOTS ITS ASS AT YOU WHEN IT’S PISSED OFF.

Aaaaaahahahahahahahahahaha.

Also: can you imagine how many supermodels and actresses would give their eyeteeth for the magical ability to jettison any and all superfluous innards?

But my real question is: when is someone going to write a sea cucumber shapechanger paranormal romance? Think of the possibilities! Anal sex would have a whole other ‘nother dimension to it. Literally.

Picture of {name}
5 commentsTrackback Bookmark to del.icio.us Add to Technorati favorites Digg this post on digg.com RSS
Categories: Random Musings

Tags: This entry has not been tagged yet.

Page 463 of 527 pages « FirstP  <  461 462 463 464 465 >  Last »