Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Several alert Bitchery readers sent us a link to this Oral-B (snort) “A Brush with Romance” contest featuring a DATE with his mantitty himself, Fabio.

Plus, you get $750 of spending money for your date in LA.

As Sarah F. pointed out, $750 ain’t going to go far in LA, and wouldn’t go much farther in NYC, but I don’t think the cash is the attraction, here.

In order to get the details, I have to register, and read their rules and regulations, but they cushion the effort by teasing me, “But Fabio’s worth it, isn’t he?”

I don’t know, is he?

And gee, once I register I can create my own romance novel staring A. Martinez, Tia Carrere, or Fabio. Or I can continue my sweet, sensitive journey. Have I mentioned this ectasy is all being brought to me by a toothbrush? I cross my legs at the thought.

Oh, Jesus Flapjack, once I get through the animation and pick my “hero,” my choices of story are “Sensitive Stranger,” or “Fate’s Forest of Feeling.”

Should I make you each register for this… romance? Or shall I spoil it for you with horrified glee?

Pardon me please please if you lurk here and are nominated and I don’t know that you’re visiting, but I wanted to wish congratulations to SBTB Bitchery Readers and SBTB reviewed authors for their 2006 RITA nominations:

Stephanie Feagan, nominated for Best First Book: Show Her The Money.

Lani Diane Rich, nominated for [Best] Novel with Strong Romantic Elements: Ex and the Single Girl

Lisa Kleypas, who might not read this site but Candy and I dig her anyway, for Best Short Historical Romance: It Happened One Autumn

As I said, if you read and are nominated but I don’t know of your readership, please delurk and we’ll give you some mad props. And, above all, discuss, folks: what do you think of the Rita noms this year?

Flattery will get you far, but correct answers to our Guess that Lonely Heart will win you a Smart Bitch Title™!
The answer to this week’s contest was indeed Karen Lawrence from Jude Deveraux’s Just Curious inside the A Gift of Love anthology.

Kneel, Sara, and arise with your new title.

Give me the author name, the title, and the character name, and guess what you’ll get! No, really, guess!

Business-savvy widow, hiding out in the typing pool, seeks hot studly bo-jillionaire to lie to me and whisk me off to stand in a wedding. All that nuptial romance should lead to a little hot naked snake action, which in turn brings declarations of lifelong commitment, without either party coming clean about our true intentions. Now if that’s not the foundation of a trusting loving relationship, I don’t know what is. 

How do people meet each other nowadays? Am I the only one thinking that the internet will become a major dating arena?

I know no fewer than six couples who met online and are blissfully happy. From match.com to jdate to eHarmony - take the stress of personal interaction out of the equation, and people seem to be more honest, clearing away the pretenses prior to having a face-to-face meeting. Even the amazing woman who boards my dog, who is as down to earth and genuine as they come (the woman, not my dog), met her new husband on eHarmony. And she is the first person who would tell you that meeting someone online sounded like a complete pipedream (no pun intended).

If you live in Romance Novel Land, your hero could come galloping up to your castle astride a mammoth horse named “Thor” or “Pixie-squeak,” or perhaps he raids your father’s company, buying it out in a hostile takeover. Or maybe you get sucked back in time and he almost runs you through with his manly lance. Or you run a bed and breakfast and he stays as a guest, writing his book. Or you both work as magicians and he saws you in half with his manly saw.

In real life: perhaps you work together? You shop at the same store and check each other out? Or you both work as role players in fake towns built for military training?

Me, I met Hubby in high school. Then we worked at a summer camp and ended up permanently together. Not really the stuff of romance – although, I will say, as far as a plotting method to keep the hero and heroine together all the time, working at a summer sleepaway camp guarantees the protagonists will be seeing each other ALL the TIME. And there will be plenty of opportunity to sneak off and do some scrumpin’—if you know what I mean.

Would I look for a spouse or partner online if I didn’t already have one? Absolutely. Many of my closest friends (*koff koff* Candy *koff koff*) are people I’ve met via writing online.

But does that make for good romance? Is one of the fantasies of romance novels becoming the face-to-face chance meeting that didn’t originate on a website profile?

And, how did you meet your spouse/partner?