Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Rainbow Party arrived in the mail yesterday, so OF COURSE I had to abandon the book I was reading and latch onto this bit of teenybopper smut, just to see what all the big fuss is about. And you know what?

Dude. Seriously? The people who are all squawking because of the premise should be HAPPY about this book because the girl who’s organizing the rainbow party is portrayed as a total slutty bitchrag and you just know she’s going to Come To No Good, and the good guys are just nauseatingly sweet about their purity. I mean, this is pretty obviously a cautionary tale. If anything, my objection is that the characters are not nearly nuanced enough and the morality just a bit too strident for my tastes. Am I asking too much from a YA novel? I don’t think so. Judy Blume, for one, did a marvellous job creating nuanced, complex characters who tackled difficult subjects in her YA novels.

I’m only about 75 pages in, though, and I have about 170 more to go. Hopefully more subtlety will be injected into the book soon, though I’m not really holding my breath. Will get a review up as soon as I finish it.

Informal poll, brought on by the fellow-commuter eye rolling this morning as I pulled a Trashy Book out of my Smart Bitch Purse.

Do you use a bookcover when you read paperbacks in public or when you carry them with you?

If so, do you do so to protect the book or to cover up the man-titty?

I’m thinking that, since I get such nice copies to borrow from Candy and then refuse to put them in my bag for fear of hurting their shiny uncreased feelings, I should invest in a cover for protection’s sake. But then, I wouldn’t be sharing the man-titty with the world. And really, it’s all about the Man-titty.

I’m working on a ranty bit about feminism, romance novels and social responsibility in fiction. Until I’m done, here’s some link pimpage:

Kassia Krozser tells it like it is.

Lilith layeth the most righteous smackdown.

Wendy the Super Librarian gives it to us straight.

And quite possibly it’s better than Sarah’s birthday as well. Not for Sarah, of course, because she’s not quite the rabid Laura Kinsale fangirl I am. But courtesy of Beth, Slayer of Foley and Guardian of Thunderpussy, I just found out that Laura Kinsale has finished her latest manuscript.

And Beth? She gets to read it. Apparently she’s one of Kinsale’s beta readers. I am so green with envy right now, I can’t even tell you. I passed “avocado” about 15 minutes ago and am headed with alarming rapidity towards “deep forest green.”

Goddammit. How does one get hooked up with such a sweet gig? I wonder if Satan is interested in what few scraps of soul I have left....

Lilith, bless her heart, was evil enough to suggest a Man-Titty Haiku Contest in honor of all the bodacious boobage displayed by romance cover models (generated by anabolic steroid abuse or Poser 3D, take your pick). And we just thought it was a swell idea. Winner gets one of our oh-so-coveted Smart Bitch titles!

Rules & Deadlines:

1. This is a 5/7/5 haiku format contest.

2. Please email your entries to Sarah or Candy by Friday, June 17.

3. We will post an entry with all the contestants, and you vote via email until Tuesday, June 21.

4. Winner announced Wednesday, June 22.

Here are some masterpieces Candy came up with:

Bulging pectorals
Shade me from the sun and rain.
All hail man-titty!

So firm and bouncy.
Can’t resist. Must pinch man-boob!
Gym queen squeals loudly.

Smooth, firm chest, girly
face and tight little buttocks.
Guy or girl? Who cares?

I rub cheek on man
titty. Mmm, firm. Ouch! Stubble!
Man-titty beard burn.

And from Sarah:

OH HELL YES, I SAY
Man-titty haiku contest?
Let there be manboobs!

Firm, soft, silken orbs,
with puckered cherry nipples
she- oh! Fabio!

Saggy baggy boobs
head south toward his treasure trail.
Woe, post-partum sag.

A solar eclipse!
Warmth blotted out by shadow!
Oh. Lord Mantitte stood up.