Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Author Leslie Kelly wrote me with a bummer of a story:

I just found out (too little too late!) that on Christmas night, Sirius XM radio had a 4 hour read-aloud of a Christmas story I did for eHarlequin last year! (This on top of finding out that the thing was offered as a free audio book from audible.com for the past month!)

Anyway, I had no idea, would have absolutely loved to listen, and was just wondering if anybody out there in romance land actually heard any of it. Is there any teeny-tiny way you could ask on SBTB?

I only found out because somebody wrote to tell me about the Audible offer, so I googled the story, and this popped up. Major bummer, I had about 20 members of my family here on Christmas night...what an absolute blast to turn on the radio and hear one of “Leslie’s little stories” being read out loud.

So - did anyone happen to tune in to their Sirius radio and hear her story? How was it? And DUDE how much of a bummer is that!

Sarah’s too close to the phone, Jane is driving, and we’re recording our conversation. Want to listen in?

This is the feed to the podcast and you can click on this link to add it to iTunes.  We can’t curse on the podcast due to iTunes content restrictions. (Dammit fuck). 

Feel free to give us content suggestions, tips on how to do this whole thing better, or general wtf-ery comments.  It’s all welcome because a) we are new to this and b) we don’t really know what we are doing so the wtf comments are probably all valid.  The email address for the podcast is .

The challenge of time continuity is epic fun in the “What?” department. We reference Dahl’s book and the Save the Contemporary as “in progress” because this was recorded before we launched the contest - and we talk about layoffs “this week” when in fact publishing is closed for the holidays. Whee! Newbie errors, we has them! 

As Jane says, we are the picture of amateurs. Come watch us grow! Or, listen, as the case may be.

We’re going to be making this a regular feature in 2009, so let us know what you think. This podcast is brought to you by the letters W, T, and F, and by Morgan from Miss Media Productions .

I think the word “looms” is hilarious for some reason. Deadlines definitely loom over me. They’re creepy like someone standing way too much in my personal space. But enough about me and my personal space issues: Videomo Contest Entries are due 1 January by midnight EST.

If you’ve made a Videomo and it’s not among the ones listed on our YouTube channel please please please asap so I can make sure to catch it and add it to our lineup.

Remember - winner gets Teh Kindle and a heaping pile of the people’s ovation and fame forever. Good luck!

When I redid the re-captioning of Wayne Jordan’s book from the Uncyclopedia definition of romance, the book itself caught my eye. The synopsis sounded very interesting, so I ordered it.

Mason Sinclair is recovering from a terrible injury sustained in the line of duty when his mother tells him that the man the thought was his father was not, and that he has three brothers he never knew about. Lianne Thomas is undercover protecting a little boy and his mother. They’re both in Barbados. Could this potentially rock? It seemed to me that yes, oh yes, it could. Caribbean setting? Law enforcement protagonists? Multiple plots of family history, intrigue, suspense and pretending you are someone you’re not while discovering you’re someone else entirely?

Oh, yes yes yes.

Unfortunately the book itself didn’t live up to my expectations, and despite my attempts to keep reading, it never caught my attention. The clumsy development of characters, the klutzy plotting, and the narration undermined my anticipation of the plot itself to the point where I didn’t finish it.

The ARCs themselves are not Fragile, but we do have winners who each get a copy. Woo! Thanks to Shiloh for offering the copies and judging the winners in our What’s that Smell? contest?

Midknyt who said

Why, it’s the new Burger King Flame scent, of course.

That’s what the look over the shoulder is from - “Mmm...Burger King?  No, something...different.”

He really shouldn’t need to use that much though.

Jen C who said:

Now, I think that it is actually a good smell.  I suspect that the smell has to do with “that manly scent, soap, hard work, and the essence of male”.  While that is not a direct quote, I see that basic idea in romance novels, where everyone bathes daily no matter what time period they take place in, and no matter what rank the guy is.  Of course, it comes against her scent, the “utterly feminine, with a bit of citrus and a spicey, heady womanly smell” from her magic va-jay-jay.  This cover illustrates what happens when the scents collide.

Theo who said:

Sunday looked back to see her stalker fast approaching and thanked the gods she had the foresight to learn from her brothers how to fart on command.

Amy who said:

As he strides toward her, he is preceded by a cloud of Axe. She’d known he worried a little too much about body odor, but she didn’t know his ego was quite so… Fragile.

Breia who said:

Its the smell of someone about to get their ass kicked. Doesn’t he understand that when she says she needs time alone she means it. He has to understand that she is leaving so she can have time to read this new book she found at the bookstore, you may have heard of it. Its called Fragile by Shiloh Walker. She loves Shiloh Walker and if he doesn’t go away she is gonna get really UGLY. No one interferes with her reading time not even one as sexy as he.

Not even olfactory mysteries can stand up to the power of the Bitchery. Boo yah.

ETA: WOW is my brain fried. Winners, please with your address so you can receive your copy. Holy cow. I need to reboot my brain.