Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Let me guess: you signed up for Facebook? People come out of the woodwork to show off their happiness and joy on Facebook. It’s bizarre. And strangely addictive. Oh, no, you said they called. Well, now. The experience you’ve described must be both flattering and alarming - you definitely sound a bit overwhelmed. Unfortunately for me and my advice column, each of your questions is best answered by you. But that won’t stop me from ruminating for awhile.

Why did they all contact you this year? Couldn’t tell you. Dudes are strange, and often unpredictable. But if a bunch of men who were important to you at various times in your life all, independently of one another, convene to tell you you’re awesome, take that at face value: you’re awesome. Being complimented is always a nice thing.

What are you supposed to take from it? I say two things. First, see above re: compliment. Second: if you have been perhaps doubting the future of your love life, or doubting yourself, this is a strong indication that you have a great deal to offer someone, and people who have had you in their lives recognize the power of your awesome.

But your third question is the kicker: How do you deal with an ex calling you up to tell you how perfect his life is without you, but damn, he wished you were still in it?

That’s a big question. If I’m doing my math correctly, and likely I am not, there are 7 men telling you that you’re an amazing part of their pasts, and five of those men are married. Guess which five I’d ignore in favor of the other two? Infidelity is hardly ever romantic, and I definitely do not recommend it.

If the two who aren’t married are worth keeping in touch with - you mentioned “last year’s therapy sessions” so I don’t want to advise you to open yourself to a world of hurt - then perhaps you might consider being back in their lives in one form or another. If you still like them, or are even inclined to be friends, there’s no reason not to, unless you think or feel it would be a bad idea. There’s not enough detail for me to know which gentleman you may prefer, but I think the point of your letter was “OMGWTFBBQ—What do I do?” and not so much “What do I do now?”

Most romances that feature exes getting back together or former childhood flames reconnecting as adults share a few common traits. One notable feature is an enduring attraction and magnetic draw to that other person, regardless of the hurt feelings and nuclear breakups that may have interfered in the past. Despite some pain and fallout, that person is still hot smokin’ booyah and always has been. Repairing a broken relationship is hard work, even years after the breaking, but most of the time the protagonists have grown up and grown wiser, and have the wherewithal and the what-what to take on the repair and the reviving of an old relationship. Perhaps this is where you and one of the gentleman are. Or perhaps you’re now ready to take a chance on someone else. Either way, your story is the stuff great conflict and potential great happy endings are made.

Bottom line: you should take from this experience that you are, in fact, an amazing person, and people are proud to have had you in their lives. That’s a compliment like no other to feast on in cold moments. Eventually, if this is one of your goals, I hope you find someone about whom you feel that way as well: that your life is amazing with him in it, and vice versa.  You deserve nothing less.

Ms. Chand said in a telephone interview that she did not believe Mr. Walsch’s explanation. “If he knew this was wrong, he should have known it was wrong before he got caught,” she said. “Quite frankly, I’m not buying it.”

But wait, there’s more! On Walsch’s personal blog, after he confessed all and admitted he’d made a big honking mistake, over 100 readers and fans fell all over themselves to reassure him that he was still, in fact, the man. Among the highlights of what-the-fuckery:

I don’t see the big deal in what happened, and I mean no disrespect to Ms. Chand. Stuff like that happens to me, and all of us, all the time.

...

When I thought it through, I realized that this idea could have been seeded into many minds through the collective consciousness, and that it was in no way plagiarism on your part. Heck, I could have heard something like that somewhere and wrote away, its possible.

...

I sinscerely pray that Ms. Chand accepts your gracious apology in light of the circumstances that you have attempted to correct the misconception.... I can imagine a possibility that Ms. Chand might even be flattered by an author of your stature finding in her work such quality that it moved him to breed further life into it by putting it on this very public and popular forum. I can even conceive of the possibility that Ms. Chand, whom sadly I have never heard, might actually benefit from the attention given it.

...

This Candy Chand is also a spiritual writer. Neale was spiritual enough to recognize his mistake, let’s hope Candy Chand and Beliefnet are spiritual enough to forgive it.

While a few readers call Walsch to task for his deceit, most reassure him and beg him to continue writing, even though BeliefNet, where Walsch’s plagiarising of Chand’s story occurred on 28 December 2008, has withdrawn Walsch from their group of writers. In most of the comments online, plagiarism yet again is a theft that is made into a minor borrowing when a bigger celebrity does the word harvesting.

In a rather eerie coincidence noticed only by, well, me, this week marks the date of the first post one year ago about another plagiarism scandal. Only instead of “the authors ought to be flattered” comments, our story garnered, and we still receive, “You are evil and you’re going to hell and I’ll be the one to send you there” email.

Plagiarism: still making readers batshit crazy after all these years.