




by SB Sarah • Wednesday, November 26, 2008 at 02:02 AM
Every now and again we discuss women’s shelters, Goodwill, libraries and other places that eagerly accept your used and gently worn romance novels. I’m always on the lookout for places to send my never ending pile of romances, so I was thankful to Moreena, who wrote me with a great location that might need some romances in stock:
I know occasionally you all are looking to pass on books, and I’m thinking that maybe some of your readers are, too. I usually give mine to the library for book sales or to Goodwill, but I was recently in the hospital with my 8-year-old daughter (liver transplant #3 *shudder*) and noticed that the supply of books for adults at the Kohl’s House for transplant families was running low. I thought of writing to you because on our last stay I bonded with a gigantically pregnant woman over our love of Nora Roberts for de-stressing reading distraction. She was spending the last few weeks of her pregnancy at the Kohl’s House since her baby was going to need to go straight to the NICU at Children’s Memorial. Stress!
The Kohl’s House provides living space for families of transplant families, who frequently spend months away from home during their child’s surgery, recovery, and follow-up care. When I was there this last time, they had quite a few kids’ books, but their selection of books for adults had dwindled to just one small bookcase. The Kohl’s House encourages families to take the books home if they haven’t yet finished (or if they just fell in love with it), so it’s not surprising that the collection has shrunk. In fact, it’s a good thing.
You don’t have to send a giant box full of books, but if you feel like dropping a few into the mail here is the address:
Kohl’s House
2422 N. Orchard
Chicago, Illinois 60614
I also checked with Michelle (manager) about any other wishes they might have, and she said that they are short on DVDs (kids or adult), and would also like VCRs as they just received a huge donation of VHS tapes, but only have one VCR for the house (each floor has a community TV, and a few rooms also have their own TVs).
Moreena, my biggest and strongest Smart Bitch wishes for your daughter and her new liver (Hi, new liver!) and my deepest thanks for a great opportunity. If you have ideas of places looking for fine, fabulous romances where they’ll do the greatest good, let me know. Or, fill a box and ship it over to Kohl’s. Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.
ETA: Moreena asked me to give folks the heads up that, while this may be an obvious thing, books should be as clean as possible because the folks undergoing care are being suppressed - in the immunological sense, not the Monty Python sense. So be conscious of the condition of the books as pertains to hair, mold, dust, etc. And as always, thank you for your generosity.










by SB Sarah • Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 10:54 AM
So many of you have forwarded me the Questionable Content cartoon for today entitled, ‘I love you, Sandra Hill.’ Have a look.
Perhaps your blood pressure will rise a bit at the “just a shitty romance novel.” And again at “Girl-porn.”
But look closer - she who casts the stone of “Girl-porn?” In the next frame she’s grabbing that paperback and then reading it. And even as the girl who calls her novel “shitty hilarious girl porn” sneers at it, she’s totally into it. I’d like to know where she falls on the Dear Author Apologia Scale.
Haj wrote, “I must know if there is, indeed, a romance novel about a time-travelling Viking who becomes a Navy SEAL.” I don’t know if he becomes a SEAL, but there is no time travel viking like a Sandra Hill time travel viking, hence Ms. Hill’s name on the cover.
As near as I can tell, this book is Viking Unchained.
So a slap on the wrist for Questionable Content for the girl porn/shitty romance double-punch. And yes, time traveling viking Navy SEALS is totally mock worthy. But as a merry fan of The Very Virile Viking, I say to Questionable Content:




by SB Sarah • Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 01:01 AM
Once upon a time, there was a book. Well, sort of. There was a book in a movie. Sex & The City was the movie in question and the book that wasn’t a book was used as a prop by Carrie, when she read aloud from Love Letters of Great Men.
Seems moviegoers went hunting for the book in bookstores, but there was no such thing. Not because great men didn’t write love letters, but because the book wasn’t real. But it is now. From Napoleon to Darwin to Beethoven, the passionate missives of some fascinating historical figures are now available for your musing and perusing. My favorite love letter, though, “I love you… I love you like guitars,” from John Lennon to his then-wife Cynthia, isn’t in there. But this letter from the collection is pretty damn fine:
Livy Darling,
Six years have gone by since I made my first great success in life and won you, and thirty years have passed since Providence made preparation for that happy success by sending you into the world… Let us look forward to the coming anniversaries, with their age and their gray hairs without fear and without depression, trusting and believing that the love we bear each other will be sufficient to make them blessed. So, with abounding affection for you and our babies, I hail this day that brings you the matronly grace and dignity of three decades!
Always Yours
S.L.C.”
S.L.C. - aka Mark Twain, to his wife, Olivia Langdon, on her thirtieth birthday
And hello, dear readers, I have five copies to give away! Would you like one? Sure you would - I think this book is adorable. Even if Carrie hadn’t used it in a film, I’d be curious about it. So, if you’d like a collection of manly heartfelt love letters of your own, leave a comment with your favorite love letter or romantic moment from your life, and I’ll select five winners to receive a copy. Thanks to St. Martin’s Press for the books. And to Mark Twain for totally warming the cockles of my heart. Or vice versa.
Wait, you want my love letter entry? Heh.
Back in college, before Hubby and I were officially an item, I met up with him at a New Year’s party during winter break of our freshman year. Hubby and I met in high school, and most of our mutual friends were at this party. I have no clear memory of writing a letter to him after that night, but at some point, I wrote a long, rambly, probably incoherent letter about how much I liked him and was attracted to him, and then, I mailed it. Seriously, this is not like me. I have no idea when I mailed it. But I did.
Surprise, surprise, Hubby wrote back. I received a printed out letter from him in Chicago (not handwritten; I’d never have been able to read it) when I returned back to school in South Carolina the following week. And while I don’t remember the specifics of the first paragraph, he admitted he really liked me too, he had always been attracted to me, but since we were 1000 miles apart, there wasn’t anything we could do about it anyway. Then came the memorable, romantic part, when he wrote:
“In other news, I’m going to change fonts. It’s really cold here. Today it was -40F with the wind chill. I almost froze my dick off.”
Ahh. Romance with Hubby. Nothing like it under the sun, or inside the wind chill.












by SB Sarah • Monday, November 24, 2008 at 12:21 PM
Here’s a unique Bitchery request: old editions of Nora Roberts novels - for academic study!
An writes:
I’m a graduate student pursuing a PhD on romance, genre and authorship based on Nora Roberts’ oeuvre. For my research I need old editions of Nora’s novels and I have some difficulty getting my hands on old romance novels. I analyze both the text and the paratext - cover, blurbs, etc. - of romance novels, which means that each new edition of a book is important to my analysis, even if no changes to the text have been made.
For example, Nora’s first novel, Irish Thoroughbred, was published in 1981 as Silhouette Romance # 81, reissued in the Language of Love series (# 1) and reissued again in 2000 in a Silhouette mass market compilation volume. I’m looking for all three editions of this book – and many others - but while one can rather easily buy the 2000 edition, it’s far more difficult to get the 1981 or language of love editions.
So, my question is: how should I go about gaining access to old editions of romance novels? I live in Belgium, which makes onling buying of large quantities of novels quite expensive because of shipping costs. As a graduate students my funds are limited.
I asked for more info about her project, because, whoa, dude. Here’s the scoop, if you’re curious and nebby, like I am:
The project is an absolute delight; as a long-time Nora fan I kind of get to turn my hobby into my profession, which is a blast.
Re paratextual analysis, what I’m looking at is how both the genre and the author are represented on the cover and how this changes as the position of the author changes within the genre and within (popular) culture in general. Very basically, if you look at original editions of Nora’s early categories, she’s published just like any beginning category romance author (back then) in a line. The books’ paratext is completely dominated by the line - to the extent that the individual author seems to not really matter; or at least, she’s not focussed upon. The book is presented and sold as “a Harlequin” or “a Silhouette” from a specific line - i.e. it is identified and categorized in terms of genre.
As Nora became more popular, her position within the genre changed. She started publishing single title romances and emerged as an individual author within the genre - which was reflected in the paratext: e.g. her name on the cover became bigger and bigger. The more popular she became - and becomes - the more the focus shifts to the author name ‘Nora Roberts’ instead of the line/publisher/genre - so, eventually the very same novels which were originally sold as romances in a partciular line, are now re-issued and presented as romances by Nora Roberts. Her readers no longer necessarily buy/read ‘a romance novel’ but ‘a Nora Roberts’.
To map and track this change and how it came about - e.g. the role of different publishers played in the process, Nora’s tendencies to write connected books - I want to compare paratexts of different editions of novels. I’ll complement this analysis with a textual analysis - looking at Nora’s particular use of genre conventions, her renegotiating and changing some of those conventions, her tendency to mix in different genres while still respecting and skillfully using the romance framework, etc. In that way I hope to eventually be able to demonstrate how Nora Roberts has “outgrown” the romance genre - her name has become a brand name in itself - both in terms of what she writes, as how this is presented and sold to the reader.
That sounds like a very savvy project. I hope that’s very well received by your professors, An! So what’s the issue?
Well, since An’s in Belgium, and as a grad student, the fundage, it is limited. Hence An is looking for a number of things: “I want to buy all editions of all of Nora Roberts’ novels in English, published between 1981 and 2008. I have two questions: how do I determine which editions exist (I do have the Companion, but only covers reissues until 2003) and how do I get my hands on them?”
I recommended: Paperback Swap, AbeBooks, and Alibris.
Oh! And the Harlequin shop at Lughnassadh Books, which specializes in old Harlequins. If owner Derek Stafford doesn’t have the books you’re looking for, he might be able to find a source for it, or at least trace all the editions you may need.
Any other sources you recommend, Oh Wise Bitchery?










by SB Sarah • Monday, November 24, 2008 at 01:21 AM
Adventures in bad Photoshopping make for great covers and they make for even better contests. The winner of the “Caption That Cover: Turkey Edition” contest is, without a giblet of a doubt, TeddyPig for Butterballin’.
Honorable Gobble mentions go to: Judy for “Turfucken for dinner again??” and Becky for referencing the joke that will NEVER get old, “Stuffing the turkey, saving its life!”
Thanks to all who posted a caption, and to whoever designed that cover for perfectly balancing the creepy and the hilarious in one image. Happy Thanksgiving, folks!