Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Jill Sorenson had a hell of a time picking the winners of her ARC. Not only are you guys well read, but you have a huge discography of musical knowledge, too.

Jill says:

It was a lot of fun to read the comments and suggestions.  Ah, the bitchery is wise.

It was so hard to pick the winners!  Some of the ideas were very close to ones I’d already suggested to my editor (Fall Into Me).  And others made me laugh out loud (Pounce On Me, It’s My Wildlife).  But I picked these:

Missy Ann COVER ME
Alyc LAY ME DOWN
Kim Boler I FALL TO PIECES
maris_32 INTO THE WILD
Inez Kelley HUNGRY EYES, TAKE ON ME

Congrats to the winners! You can with your contact info to get your delicious, shiny ARC. Thanks for playing!

If you’re tired of the political wonkage, skip the video below the fold, which is so full of dry sarcasm that I snorted a whole mess of times. If you’re in the mood for silly: enjoy this one. 

Nicole writes:

Okay, I have absolutely no desire to read this book (again), but I’ve got to know what it is.  It’s the first wall-banger I ever came across and I did literally throw it across the room and even remember making a dent in the wall.  I read it about ten years ago, so it’s most likely mid 90’s or earlier.

Anyways, it’s set in the US, I think during the Alaskan gold rush.  Heroine is some socialite or heiress or something.  Anyways, through some circumstances that I don’t remember, she ends up going to Alaska, I think to find her betrothed.  I swear she ends up prostituting herself because she’s broke.  Which I think is where I threw the book across the room.  I remember it the writing being completely over the top and most likely there were bodices being ripped.  So help, anyone know of any formerly wealthy prostitute heroines in the Klondike?

I vaguely remember that there was a lot of blue on the cover.  I know, my memory is bad, but I’ve really been wanting to remember what book this was.

Oh...wow. Ho in the Snow?! Someone must remember this one. I hope!

Shanna writes:

I have been looking for a book for a year now, a historical romance I read back in the 90’s.

The book started out with a scene of a very young girl looking for her kitten in the hull of (her father’s?) ship, knowing she was told not to go down there.  She ends up being raped by two crew members.
Then it flashes forward years later, she is the captain of a ship.
Now, she either robbed one of the hero’s ships, or the king/queen sent him to find her, can’t quite remember but then the story follows that he is looking for her “Phantom Ship”, unaware that she is in fact a woman- though I don’t thinks she is disguised.
I know at one point he boards her ship with permission, he wants information from her.

If you can remember this book, I will spread my praises for you far and wide! lol

Thank you for your time!

Shanna (yes, named after that damned book! lol)

I’m not sure if I could read this one, but if her ship is the Black Pearl, I am cheering this heroine on. And I’m cheering on Shanna, who was named after another book I can’t read.

Jess writes:

This book is a little older, probably 10-15 years, as I remember reading it in high school. It was your garden variety Victorian (or possibly Regency) romance: well-bred miss marries redeemable rake. It may even have been a marriage of convenience struck between the two, but none of that matters. The only pertinent detail I remember is the hero’s business ambitions. A Birds of Paradise brothel (yay! theme whore houses!). Hubby’s plans are not without some contention on the part of the heroine, but he goes ahead with them up to the very last minute. While auditioning the first chick, a canary doing a tap dance on his man-parts, he realizes that plumed hookers are not nearly as entertaining as one would originally assume. Unfortunately, as soon as he has the opening-a-whore-house-might-not-endear-me-to-my-wife and-please-get-your-foot-off-my-manhood epiphany, none other than well-bred miss walks in the door. And that’s it. All I remember.

I tried Googling Birds of Paradise brothel, but upon reflection, it was probably not the best search phrase. So I know it’s only one scene, but you have to admit, it’s kind of unique and I’m hoping it stuck in someone’s memory better than mine. Help! Please!

Anyone else find this one absolutely hilarious? “Google the Birds of Paradise Brothel?” Best. Euphemism. Ever.