Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

No, we’re not cruel enough to inflict more Hungarian Nora covers on you (though fear not, just when you least expect it, BAM. We, or they, will return!). But we are cruel enough to inflict this set of covers on you.

Sarah: Her: Look. Looook dahlink. I have ingrown hair from incompetent waxer.

Him: You also have booby! Honk honk!

Candy: Frankly, her position and her expression make her look, uh, developmentally disabled. Like he’s the creepy older cousin trying to get his bad touch ON, you dig? He’s all “Hey, honey, let me stroke you and make you feel all better” and she’s all “Nnnnnooooo, momma told me not to let you touch on my pillows.”

Sarah: An alert reader sent me the link to the author’s announcement of her new cover, wherein she states By the way, I need to stress something. Despite the nakedness on the cover, this is NOT an erotic romance.

Well, I’d have thought that, certainly. I’d also have thought that it was a tit nipply out, and he was very confused as to who Flowbee’d his mullet.

Candy: Damn, that hair is really, really unfortunate. It makes the right side of his head look like it was strapped against a plank for a few years. Which, come to think of it, might also explain the expression on his face. I have the feeling that higher cerebral function is not this dude’s forte, you know what I’m sayin’?

Really, somebody needs to chill the fuck out with the feathering—and I’m referring to both the dude’s hairstylist and the cover artist who photoshopped this hunka burnin’ germfarm onto the backdrop.

Sarah: Ah yes, another candidate for “The Cover That Snarks Itself.”

A love story! With an erect stamen at its heart! That about sums it up.

Candy: Given that most Linda Howard heroes seem to suffer from severe priapism (which probably explains why so many of them are such assholes), this cover is an exercise in truth in advertising, and I can only applaud the discernment of the German cover designers.

No, no I can’t. Holy shit, you guys. A succulent stiffy! IN YOUR FACE! Aaaahahahahahaha.

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Categories: Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition)

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