Some bridge in Cairo
Crippled Old Dude: Ow, my kidneys!
Soldier: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Rupert:
O the injustice! Hey Mr. Soldier, here's your ass on a plate, sir.
5 million other soldiers: No, here's YOUR ass.
Crippled Old Dude: I'm a-scarperin', I'm a-scarperin'.
At Daphne's
Leena:
Doooom, glooooom.
Akmed: Ow. Ow. Ow.
Daphne:
WTF, where's my brother?
At the British Consulate
Daphne:
WTF, where's my brother?
British Consul: Uh.
Daphne:
Help me find my brother. Or else.
British Consul: OK, we have this guy, and he's not too bright, but he's
pretty strong...
In some dungeon in Cairo
Rupert:
Brown thingums!
Daphne:
Idiot.
Rupert:
You sound hot. I dig smart chicks who can read all that doodly writing. And
stuff. Also, I'm hot. I'm the hottest disembodied chin you'll find in all of
Egypt, and very possibly the world.
Daphne:
Idiot.
Leena:
Lookit, you silly bint, you have enough brains for both of you. What you need
right now are big muscley muscles for beating off the bad guys. Plus getting
laid properly will make you less cranky.
Daphne:
FUCK.
At Daphne's
Daphne:
OH SHIT. My work! And the bastards stole the mysterious, valuable papyrus Miles
bought for me! And crap, I just totally gave away that I'm the scholar, not
Miles.
Rupert:
Oooh. You're REALLY hot. *manly swoon* Oh hey, here's a recalcitrant servant.
Tell us all, or else
*flexes muscles*
Daphne:
*swoooooon*
Leena:
Rrrowr.
Recalcitrant servant: *tells all, which really isn't much*
Daphne:
We'll go for help at Viscount Noxley's.
Rupert:
Bah.
At Jean-Claude Duval's
Jean-Claude:
YOINK. Also: I have Miles. Mwahaha. I will totally kick Viscount Noxley's ass
in our quest for more antiquities. Bastard Englishmen stealing our Rosetta Stone.
At Viscount Noxley's
Rupert:
I hate you.
Noxley:
I'll just ignore and dangerously understimate the big lummox in my living room,
mmmkay? Daphne darling, don't worry your pretty little head, I'll fix everything.
Daphne:
That's what you think, bub.
Noxley:
Hey, henchmen: take care of the big lummox, won't you?
On the way to Giza
Rupert:
If any of you chickenshit servants desert the beauteous Daphne, I shall defenestrate
thee with much post-hastenes.
Cowering Servants: Eeek! But we

you all the same.
Daphne:
Oh, gag me.
At Chephren's Pyramid
Rupert:
Ooooh, big triangular thingy.
Daphne:
Shut up and help me look for clews.
Rupert:
Your ass looks even hotter when it's waggling in front of me in an dark, enclosed
space.
Daphne: Bla bla bla bla pyramids bla bla bla hieroglyphs and oh by the
way I hate dark, enclosed spaces.
Guides: GLURK!
Rupert: Oh crap, the light's gone out. Quick, to the ladder and the
way out!
Guides: *still dead*
Daphne: OK, Rupert squeezing by me on the ladder was pretty hot.
Egyptian Cops: What's all this, then? Two dead bodies, you say?
Daphne: Oh, crap.




