Candy: Well, yes, I hear that thunder of a certain sort is a consequence of hard, vigorous Muddy Love session. And judging from the pained look on the girl’s face, the sessions have been hard and vigorous indeed.
Dude also looks like he’s holding his breath. Tant pis, man. Tant pis.
Sarah: She looks miserable, like she knows she just had bean burritos with a side order of beans, and knows that now is not the time for the backdoor lovin’. Promise of Thunder indeed. She’s a-gonna toot like there’s no tootmorrow.
Candy: Oooooh! In a swamp, no less! Lots of snakes in swamps. Lots. And snakes like dark, enclosed spaces, right? I can guess where one snake is hiding right fucking now.
I mean, c’mon, LOOK AT HER FACE!
Sarah: Seriously, no doubt about what’s going on here. And at least she doesn’t look mortified like the chick in Thunderous Passage above. But ew, in the swamp? There are many, many more favorable locations in which to sample his Swamp Thing.
Candy: Hey, this is the book where the dude uses cream as lubricant for the heroine’s cunny, right? Gotta love a man who knows how to use milkfat in a variety of ways. I wonder what he used for The Other Place? The chick on this cover looks sort of resigned, not pained, so that’s a good thing, right? The dude, on the other hand, looks sort of clueless, like he’s still trying to maneuver his way. “Can you feel me now? Can you feel me now?”
Sarah: This is, indeed, the book where the hero has to use cream to ease his passage. Good thing he got in the habit, because there’s more of a need now than ever for lubrication. Candy’s right, though. She looks completely at ease while he looks like he’s trying to break through her balloon knot with a case of the Melty Man.
Candy: Judging by the looks of things, this chick’s Indian Name is “Woman-Who-Braves-Muddy-Love-Without-Astroglide.”
Sarah: It ain’t no feather, I’ll tell you that much. And where is her other hand? Guiding him into the chocolate hole? If she’s directing traffic, her name might be “I’m-Still-a-Virgin-If-We-Do-It-This-Way.”
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I cracked up at “Me again.”
Yep-- that’s when I pretty much slid off my chair and sat there, giggling helplessly.
My husband’s contribution was “Someone needs to tell Joe he doesn’t have a guitar.”
…
Great advice, Sarah, and if I may pimp, over at http://wetnoodleposse.blogspot.com we’re talking all month about psyching up for National.
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His Wonderbread must have been magically delicious!
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