When Covers Happen

We’ve talked about when bad covers happen to good books, and when good covers happen to books that fail the 30, the 5, and the 1-page test.

Now, it’s a whole new chapter in cover snark: when the same cover happens to multiple books. Thanks to Jane and Barb Ferrer for this faaaabulous samples.

image

image

Sarah: She doesn’t look sexy. She looks mean crazy scary. Not insane scary, like she’s going to take off her stiletto heel and drive it into your eyeball, or funny scary when you’re laughing on the out-breath and gasping in fear on the in-breath. Mean crazy scary, where you don’t take your eyes off her while she’s in the same room with you. Regardless of whether she’s representing fictional sex or actual sex, I wouldn’t hit that with a ten foot pole. She looks like she wants to murder dalmation puppies for a full-length coat.

Candy: She doesn’t just look like Cruella De Vil’s hipster daughter. The way she’s holding the underwear like they’re exotic artifacts from an unfamiliar culture or a choice of weapon (“Death by snu snu? Or death by ploot ploot?”) gives me the impression she’s some sort of alien from a planet where the sentient life forms look like praying mantises masquerading as a human. She does seem to be a biting-heads-off-while-engaged-in-the-rumpy-pumpy sort.

image

image

Sarah: Suspense! Erotica! Nothing says both or either like Jennifer Love Hewitt in magenta. Magenta automatically makes anything, even the Ghost Whimperer, erotically suspenseful. Or suspensefully erotic. Or neither.

Candy: She’s thinking: Is he using Altoids? Or good-old fashioned Lifesavers? I CAN’T TELL.

He’s thinking: Boobs. BOOBS. HOLY SHIT BOOBS.

image

Sarah: And then there are the cover images and titles that don’t get used nearly enough. A weed-whacked treasure trail and the words “seasonal wind.” There’s so much comedy I can barely breathe.

Candy: Chili season is the unkindest season of all.

Comments are Closed

  1. Adler M says:

    Futurama references for the win, Candy, for the win.

  2. rebyj says:

    ya know that advisory in the front of a lot of books?

    ” if you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the publisher and neither the author or the publisher has recieved any payment for this stripped book”

    some books need a warning WITH the cover.

    “If you purchased this book with a cover, you should be aware this cover may have appeared on another book. The other book is the one you thought you were buying but too bad as neither the publisher or the author will refund your money ie: you’re fucked”

  3. Jessica G. says:

    mmmm.  And I thought that each book got an original selection of stock photography (hence the long blond hair on Julie Cohen’s American cover.  They were out of short haired city blonds that day.)  But to re-use.  It’s worse than bad re-gifting; but super-economical, I’m sure.

  4. oakling says:

    The middle ones were obviously using public domain photos of some kind – unless the publisher has their own library of photos they’ve paid for that they can just use at will. What gets me is that first cartoony one. Do those books have a little credit to the cover artist inside? How do they reuse that drawing and not notice? That’s so much more obvious than a fuzzy softcore photo, to me.

  5. Krysia says:

    *snickers*

    Seasonal Wind.

    heh-heh

  6. Jackie says:

    Hate to say it, but SCS (Shared Cover Syndrome) happens all too frequently. And then there are the obvious same-art-but-let’s-dress-it-a-little-differently covers. Got to love stock art…

    spam: quality12 (I guess that quality covers get repackaged 12 times…)

  7. LadyRhian says:

    “Seasonal Wind”. Isn’t that what happens after you stuff yourself like a hog at the Thanksgiving and/or Christmas table? (Or any other holiday that involves the people at the entire table morphing into the stuffed pig with the apple in its mouth…) You eat yourself sick and then suffer from “seasonal wind” the next day and a half…

    Spamword: Looked 84. I look much younger than that, thank you!

  8. Laurel says:

    Re: Seasonal Wind – at least it’s not showing the guy from behind.

  9. DaviMack says:

    Seasonal Wind: because somebody’s ma always makes something with cabbage in it.

  10. That’s sad. I have the York book in my TBR pile. As for the chick with the lingerie size:gnat… That’s just… ermmm…. Her eyes are freaky… weird freaky.

  11. Teddypig says:

    Savage is to Cassie Edwards what
    Wind is to Charlotte Boyett-Compo.

    WINDFALL
    WINDCHANCE
    PRINCE OF THE WIND
    WINDKEEPER
    WINDSEEKER
    WINDWEEPER
    WINDHEALER
    WINDREAPER
    WINDDREAMER
    WINDBELIEVER
    WINDDECEIVER
    WINDRETRIEVER
    WINDSLEEPER
    NIGHTWIND
    SHADOWWIND
    IN THE TEETH OF THE WIND
    IN THE HEART OF THE WIND
    IN THE ARMS OF THE WIND
    PRISONERS OF THE WIND
    PHANTOM OF THE WIND
    EMBRACE THE WIND
    WESTERN WIND
    WINDVERSE
    BLACKWIND
    WINDWITCH
    WINDTORN
    HARDWIND
    TROPICAL WIND
    SEASONAL WINDS
    TAKEN BY THE WIND
    IN THE WIND’S EYE
    SHADES OF THE WIND
    JOURNEY OF THE WIND
    GHOST WIND
    WINDBORN
    DANCING ON THE WIND
    WINDSPECTER
    TAILWIND

  12. AgTigress says:

    That cartoon drawing is so disgraceful that I can’t imagine how anyone with half a brain could wish to use it once, let alone twice.  What the hell has happened to people’s aesthetic judgement these days?

  13. H says:

    In the Teeth of the Wind? Seriously?!? I just don’t want to know how that title relates to the book.

  14. Charlene says:

    Mr. Wind appears to be taking Zithromax: the side effects include flatulence, jaundice, and bloating. No word on whether dressing like a member of the Village People while staring down at your kazonga is a side effect as well.

  15. Ocy says:

    Ok, cartoon Cruella there is an image used for promo for Passion Parties (which is sort of like tupperware or avon… only with sex toys instead of kitchen stuff or makeup.)  Seriously, that exact image was on one of their catalogs not too long ago, and it’s the animation style they always use.

    spamblocker: personal32.  No, I don’t own 32 personal toys yet.

  16. Kristie(J) says:

    Good Grief!!  I can sort on in a way see why books might have the same covers if they use models – I mean they have to pay them right?  But to use the same cartoon cover is just Way Cheap.  And it’s an ugly cover to boot!  I wouldn’t buy either one of them!!

  17. bettie says:

    WINDDREAMER

    I read the above title wrong—I saw one D instead of two.

  18. Danielle says:

    You know what else is wrong with that cartoon cover? She has no breasts.

    Anatomy: You’re doing it wrong.

  19. Bonnie says:

    re the boobs cover

    OMG! That exact same picture was used for a lubricant gel advert I saw in a Canadian health food magazine a while back.

    And IMO the chick looks like Paige Davis, from Trading Spaces. Just saying …

    Confirm word: fire59 Hot! HOT!!1!

    — Bonz

  20. Freezair says:

    I once saw the same piece of cover art used for both a cheerful children’s book and a steamy retelling of the Arabian Nights. The children’s book had what was presumably the whole piece—a woman in a long dress, surrounded by a pack of dogs—while the Arabian Nights one had just a closeup of her crotcheral region. I recognized the belt from the cover right away, read the back of the book, and raised my eyebrows.

    feet91—91 different books with the same picture of a pair of feet on them? No thanks…

  21. Kris says:

    I am new to posting here…have been lurking for a month or two, and first, ladies, thanks for the laughs!  Second, I don’t know if you’ve touched on Longmire’s totally hilarious remakes of covers, but here is a link if you’d like to!

    http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/

  22. Ishie says:

    “He’s thinking: Boobs. BOOBS. HOLY SHIT BOOBS.”

    See, with the placement of that line, I initially thought it applied to the drooping manbosoms of Seasonal Wind.  It looks like his pec implants are leaking into his upper abdomen, leaving the harsh effects of gravity in their wake.

    Either that or someone went a little overboard with Photoshop’s contrast enhancement tool.

  23. Wry Hag says:

    All joking aside (pffff, yeah), I wonder if readers who notice these things assume that a derivative cover is indicative of a derivative story.  (Don’t think I’m implying that people often make stupid, baseless assumptions.  I am in fact implying that; I just don’t want you to think I am.)

  24. Teddypig says:

    WINDREAMER, WINDREAMER
    Toot up my chute
    blow after blow
    It’s such a hoot

  25. Mickle says:

    You missed the best one!  (Although neither is (Adult) Romance, so I suppose that makes it understandable):

    Stephanie Meyer’s YA supernatural romance Twilight

    and a reissue of C.S. Lewis’ Words to Live By

    I’m guessing they figured that no one would notice or care since the basic idea is it’s an already very old (and Meyer is borrowing it from Christianity to begin with), but the second book is so obviously a copy (the first cover got lots of praise) that we still snickered over it at the BN I worked for.

  26. Trix says:

    A steamy retelling of the Arabian Nights? The originals are steamy enough, right from the start, with the Caliph’s wife and her attendants screwing the Nubian slaveboys in a massive orgy while hubby watches. Even Aladdin has plenty of nookie in the original.

  27. Freezair says:

    True that, Trix, but somehow the adjective “steamy” there seemed necessary, just in case no one got the fact that, heck, these are the Arabian Nights…

    Or chalk it up to posting while on cough meds. Your choice.

  28. >>I wonder if readers who notice these things assume that a derivative cover is indicative of a derivative story. <<

    Yeah, I wondered about that too.  Especially ticked me off since that awful cover has my novella that won the RITA in it.  Sigh.
    Alesia, who has many examples of NO when readers ask me if I get to choose my covers

  29. Lorelie says:

    What the hell has happened to people’s aesthetic judgement these days?

    Paris Hilton is considered hot.  Nuff said.

  30. Denni says:

    Underwear as weapons.  While she’s wingin’ that underwear around, am I the only one that wondered if it’s clean underwear?…that dirty brownish…yuck.

    Seasonal Wind…pass Candy & Sarah the oxygen.

  31. lisabea says:

    WINDREAMER, WINDREAMER
    Toot up my chute
    blow after blow
    It’s such a hoot

    LMFAO.

  32. EmmyS says:

    Speaking of Arabian Nights, does anyone else think the cartoon chick looks like Jaffar from Disney’s Alladin?

  33. Vicky says:

    Oh God, I think this last cover wins for worst title. It should have been “Ill Wind” cause that’s what I’m about to be.

    BTW he’s looking at his crotch like he can’t figure out how his pants came undone. I guess the belt couldn’t stand the pressure of the “wind”.

  34. Delos says:

    For some reason while I was scanning through the “wind” list, my mind somehow combined like three titles into “wind beaver”, which prompted a fit of chuckles and a strange look from my husband.

    Oh yeah, and Seasonal Wind guy might be looking down in shame thinking *OMG I have awful gas, maybe I can blame it on the farm animals*

  35. Alison says:

    Is it still called a Camel Toe if it’s on a cowboy?  Would it be more appropriate to call it a Horse Toe?  Cow Toe?

  36. HelenF says:

    There are probably hundreds of Mills & Boon Historicals with the same covers as different Harlequin Historicals.

    It’s probably changed by now, but when I worked there a few years ago one of my jobs was to find the artwork for the new releases each month by poring through covers of books published in North America. I always ran out of red-haired heroines though – they were written about more often in the UK than in the US.

  37. better to be anonymous... says:

    Red Alert: Seasonal Wind may cause Death by Ploot-Ploot!

Comments are closed.

By posting a comment, you consent to have your personally identifiable information collected and used in accordance with our privacy policy.

↑ Back to Top