Announcing: The Name for Candy’s New Car!

Man, you guys came up with some real doozies, but my favorite name was Bitchy-Bitchy Bang Bang, submitted by your favorite Super Librarian (and mine), Wendy. Behold, Wendy! Your shiny new Smart Bitch title! It’s even gas-efficient. Guaranteed to get at least 38 mpg in the city and 45 mpg on the highway.

Baby Got Bacque

Baby Got Bacque

Honorable mentions go to:

Fellow Smart Bitch Sarah for “The Simian Rectum” (which I modified to “The Sapphire Simian Rectum)
Joyce Ellen Armond for “The Indigo Bitchy-Go”
E.D’trix for “The Blue Baller”
Crystal for “Slut Sleigh”
Amy E. for “Babe the Blue Box”
Darlene for “The Best Blue Job You’ll Ever Get”
cw for “The Hatchback of Notre Dame” (would that make my car Quasimotor?)

And many, many thanks to everyone who indulged in my dorkery and came up with so many awesome names.

Next up, when my sinuses stop making me feel as if a donkey has kicked me in the forehead: More Romance Mad Libs! Also, Covers Gone Wild! Same Bitch Time, Same Bitch Channel!

Comments are Closed

  1. Excellent choice, Candy.  Drive it in good health!

  2. Amanda says:

    Love that choice!

  3. Wendy says:

    OMG – I won!  Who knew that caffeine deprivation would pay off?

    *sniffle* My parents will be so proud…

  4. cw says:

    LOL! Congrats Wendy!

    and whee lookie I got HM. 😉

  5. cw says:

    Crap! And that’s your engine that would be Quasimotor.

    😛

  6. Alyssa says:

    Wow, those are some great names. Congratulations, Wendy!

  7. Kate R says:

    Fantastic. I saw the excellent entries and figured I’d wait for some contest that involves chance rather than skill.

  8. That was fun. I wish I could get people to play games with such enthusiasm at SpecRom. And I actually give shit away! Clearly, as in most Western societies, a title is desirable over actual property. hehehehe

  9. Kate R says:

    Can I win something for posting really tacky weblinks? Cause I think I (my friend Joanna, really) found a camel nose to beat all camel noses. Check out the guys here. http://www.abcunderwear.com/tanktops.html
    The one in the white shirt and grey … undies? Camel nose SUPREME. Joanna’s theory is that they do a lot of sock stuffing on this site.

  10. Candy says:

    OK, Kate, I just snort-laughed at that website. Camel noses are HOT. Almost as hot as cameltoes.

  11. Candy says:

    Oh my fucking God. Y’all. You have to see this: Backless Pouch with C-Ring.

    What the fuck is a C-ring????

  12. Kate R says:

    Oh. Goodness. Just looked at the sheer underwear pages. No socks were used in the making of those pictures. Maybe the guy in the white sheer is wearing a fake camel nose. There’s a strange dark line. OR maybe it’s the mysterious C-ring?

  13. A C-ring is a cock ring.

  14. Kate R says:

    So why would anyone want to wear a c-ring all day long? Just to keep the pants all plumped up and the camel nose in place?

    Sounds like an uncomfortable fashion statement. Almost as bad as spike heels….bwhahaheh.

  15. My guess is that this type of underwear is more for special occasions—like clubbing or visiting friends—than what a guy would wear all day long on a normal day.  I have a bra wardrobe that includes some demi’s and strapless push-ups that wouldn’t be comfortable for wearing around the house, but if I’m going out for a few hours (in my spike heels), sometimes it’s exactly what I want to be wearing.

  16. Candy says:

    I love how the people who run this website feel no shame about displaying barely-dressed penises and balls, but can’t bring themselves to spell out “cock-ring.”

  17. Cock rings and fashion statements aren’t new. I think that during one of those historical periods (I get them intertwined) where men wore tight fitting pants, there was the original Prince Albert…to hold the little schwizel against the thigh to either make it stand out or make it smooth. I can’t remember which. Clearly in my mind men who spend that much time worrying about how their crotch is perceived by the public don’t make a big impression.

  18. *sigh* And I so wanted to have a Smart Bitch title of my very own. I’ll try to deal with the soul-crushing disappointment while enviously eyeing the titles given to others and waiting for my turn. *sniff*

    Congrats to Wendy, and here’s to hoping the Bitchy Bitchy Bang Bang has a long and honorable life of smooth turns and no major breakdowns.

  19. I’m reminded of that scene in “What Women Want” where Mel reads Helen’s mind and hears that she’s staring at his crotch, so he does a little hipthrust.

    Although i thik it’s only fair that if we squeeze into Wonderbras, that men wear a cock ring.

  20. fiveandfour says:

    Although i thik it’s only fair that if we squeeze into Wonderbras, that men wear a cock ring.

    Well, that would certainly make for a more entertaining time out on the town, that’s for sure! 

    The down side is that now I have this picture in my mind of certain men I work with adopting this practice and EWWWW is all I can say to that.

    Shudder.

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