Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Good heavens, Wheeee! Indeed, do you suppose he is really a Were-teenager as well?

During your lunch hour!  This gives new meaning to a “nooner” :-P I say if you can’t have a real one, reading one is a great alternative!

Very interesting!

Thanks for the review.

R

I couldn’t stop laughing at “I raced for the finish line of the story as fast as my thumb could hit the space bar.”
I know how you feel.

Bites!
That is just asking for trouble.
:)

Your reviews crack me.  Also, the added bonus of coitus quote was great!  It totally cracked me up.

Hmmmm, I tend to avoid short stories as I feel that they don’t give enough background for me to become emotionally invested in the H and H.  But if I could try it on for free I would definately give it a chance.

Comedy gold, eh? I wonder if you guys shouldn’t host a Coitus Comedy Gold competition then sometime. Surely there’s *some* holiday that would warrant such a grand escapade. :) The mind boggles. Thanks for the giggle fit.

Lunchtime eBook joy? Boo-yah!

I don’t know if I would be able to get over such stilted, fakey dialogue as easily as you did ... but you’ve never steered me wrong before, so I’ll trust it really would be a satisfying read. And, admittedly, I positively devour books by a certain author known for overwrought, no-one-would-ever-say-this-in-real-life prose, and I love it even as I roll my eyes at it, so perhaps Hauf’s story wouldn’t be such a stretch.

What do raspy nipples sound like??

I’m thinking of my kids blowing raspberry sounds now.

Nothing sells a story like giddy vagina.

Raspy nipples? Hmmm.

A vagina hug? Interesting.

Still, an hour? With kiddos, I’ll take any story I can read in a short time.

One hour story? Nice, something I can read in between revision without running ht risk of accidentally losing the whole day to a really riveting book!

^_^ Sounds good to me. How short is short though?

With the hugging, wheeeeing vagina, did she also include the ever embarassing “vart?” Inquiring minds want to know.

Interesting new paranormal line. Can’t wait to check it out and learn more about it.

I love it when you bitches do reviews, you just can’t get the thoroughness and snark anywhere else. ;)

Sounds a lot like Patricia Briggs’ Mercy Thompson novels to me - coyote shifter girl, werewolf love interest man. Admittedly not got that ‘cat vs dog’ thing going, though.

Sounds like an interesting new line. I tried my first ever series book (Sex, Straight Up) from a your review. I’ve been getting kind of tired of epic, never-ending urban fantasy series. Maybe some short, stand-alones would be a nice change of pace.

Raspy nipples and a giddy vagina? Okay, that just might beat out the flaming nipples from a Temptation a few years back. Wish I could remember the title, but TRR seems to have deleted that review a long time ago.
Why isn’t my vagina ever giddy?

Can’t wait to check it out!  I love being able to finish an entire story in my lunch hour, makes me feel like I accomplished something special ;-)

I love quick reads. Sounds like fun.

Commet! Whee.

her vagina was all, like, ‘Wheeee!  Hugs for you?!’

It really said that?  Was this book written as a comedy romance or was that meant to be sexy?

ooh!

hugs!

(now I feel like digging out my old Care Bear...)

:D

Me, I love quickies so I’ll be happy to bite into one of these.

(You know… I’m not sure that came out quite right)

@Catherine:  No, that was Sarah’s snark of the coitus quote.

Boggles the mind!  Sexy romance over the lunch break :)

“Come here, big boy!  Let me hug you with my vagina.”

Still, it’s probably better than having had her vagina kiss him…

I love goat cheese with an unbridled passion, as well. :)

Want it. Don’t make me buy it. Want it. You want to give this to me. Coupon. I’ll leave you guys alone if I gets a coupon.

Sounds interesting!

her vagina was all, like, ‘Wheeee!  Hugs for you?!’

Damn...my vajay-jay has never said “Wheeeee!” I must be doing something wrong…

Rasping nipples!  That could not be comfortable with clothes...I’m imagining velcro here.

Thanks Liviana… I feel a little dumb now.  But in my defense I’ve seen some pretty horrible wannabe-sexy-but-really-isn’t phrasing.

“the rasp of her nipples grazing his skin”

EGADS. That poor woman needs some serious moisturizer action.

Hmm… Interesting quote. Still I’ll take my chances on one of these.

I dunno, would a rasp be better than a “spung”?

Goat cheese: bleh.  Tastes like how wet wool smells.  Ruins the whole dish.

Mmm . . . raspy nipples.  You know what they say about men with raspy nipples.

That’s it… I’ve got to stop reading this site at work. It’s one thing to crack up in an open-office setting where everyone can hear you. It’s quite another to explain that the reason for said cracking up is vagina hugs.

Bite me!

Um, I mean, I wanna coupon. Pleeeease!

goat cheese, sheep cheese, feta cheese. good stuff. makes my vajayjay say “wheeee!”

Giddy hug?!? 

Okay, I can’t decide if that’s funny or just weird.  Overall the story sounds pretty cool though.

seriously, you had me at her being a cat and him being a dog and then add a “wheee” vagina and LMAO.

oo, yes, coupon please!

oh, boo for bad dialogue, but yay for happy vaginas! lol.
i want to reeeaaaaddddd! *hopes for a coupon*

Yay for new line!

Gotta agree about the weird dialog though.

Wow, somehow I have never read a “must have sex now or eeeelse” story, but it really intrigues me.  And wow this ebook is only 89 cents?!

That… is some really, really bad interior monologue.  But short stories need more love, so hey.  How long will these ‘bites’ tend to run, by word count, or do they not say?

...okay, I could probably go look that up myself, actually, instead of being lazy.  But someone else might want to know too! </rationalization>

Dogs and cats sharing special hugs?!!!  Count me IN!

Okay, well that was a bit on the, funny/don’t know what to make of that, side!
Can’t beat the price on this one though, even if it’s weird, you can afford to give it a test drive.

When I read the sample of the first sex scene, including “Her vagina was all, like, ‘Wheeee! Hugs for you?!’ AWESOME,” I seriously thought that was a line in the book, not commentary.

Needless to say, I demand someone write a romance book in that writing style. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

I totally did, too. And I was flabbergasted. Okay, she’s just extrapolating the “giddy” part. I got it.

Racing the Earth is much better :)

Yesterday, my work computer deemed this place blocked.  It’s unblocked today, now that I’ve missed the contest :(.  Still, hilarious review, as usual.  I need to check out a couple of these Bites.

Aaargh! Bad dialogue drives me crazy! Maybe I’m just becoming a bigger nitpicker as I get older, I dunno. But still, you said it was worthwhile overall so I’ll probably check it out. :)

after25: I definitely got bitchier after 25.

But short stories need more love, so hey.  How long will these ‘bites’ tend to run, by word count, or do they not say?

The guidelines call for 10-15k submissions.